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  #1  
Old 12-08-2007, 09:27 PM
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zgodt zgodt is offline
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Your assignment:

Write a paragraph about yourself in which you use all of the following words at least once:

offers
click
instances
order
flash
Santa
time
books
Bruce Wayne
tape
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  #2  
Old 12-08-2007, 09:38 PM
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I've spent a season struggling to keep my gutters attached to the house with duct tape. I got a flash drive to back-up the crucial files from my computer, and store it on top of the computer -- a great plan in case of fire, say. I get choked up over movies about believing in Santa. I think getting old is turning me into a pussy. Well fuck you, time! Like everyone, I have spam boxes full of curiously worded offers from Megadik. I don't click the links. After reading The Watchmen, it's impossible to put much stock in a guy like Bruce Wayne. I think life occurs in isolated instances. I try not to order too many of my books online, to help prevent the local indie shops from going belly up.
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  #3  
Old 12-08-2007, 09:58 PM
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There are instances in my life that are marked by, one might say, a flash of brilliance, others by sheer sadness and stupidity. One time, and I cant say for sure what makes this relevant or why I'm about to switch tense, a guy on the streets asks me and a few friends for some money, but then offers to tell us jokes and if we don't laugh, we don't give him money. That was interesting. I was Christmas shopping today, but I'm still not totally sure what my full gift will be for this Secret Santa thing I'm doing with a few friends. I was about to click submit reply just now, when I realized that I haven't finished everything yet. I like to read a lot, but I'm also a bit of an OCD-ish guy, so I have to read all my books in an order that doesn't quite make sense, but is nevertheless an order. I have two Emerson, Lake & Palmer tapes on my desk right now, but can't listen to them because I'm listening to music from my laptop, but I really want to give them a shot. Iceman could kick Bruce Wayne's ass.
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  #4  
Old 12-08-2007, 10:04 PM
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Well done.
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  #5  
Old 12-08-2007, 10:32 PM
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It wasn't always like this, my life.

There was a time when I thought I had it all, I felt like king of the fuckin' world. But times change, and so do people. I've seen it all in my 30 years on the force, a dectective for New York's finest. I recall plenty of instances where I shoulda been killed, but there's only so many times you can see your life flash before your eyes before it gets old. After awhile trying to uphold law and order just loses it's appeal, especially when you find out noone else is doing things by the books. Why should I try so hard to be the good guy, I mean who am I, Bruce fuckin' Wayne? Sometimes you just gotta take what life offers you. Figures the one time I take a little from the pot I get busted, and how it all works out perfectly for the other schmucks. They had their scapegoat. I just finished watching an old christmas tape where I dressed up as santa for my kid, but he was taken away from me too. Margret, that bitch. It's just me now, a bottle of whiskey, my sidearm and this empty apartment. Maybe I should have a go at some russian roulette, what else have I got to lose, right?

*click*
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  #6  
Old 12-08-2007, 10:42 PM
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  #7  
Old 12-08-2007, 10:50 PM
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  #8  
Old 12-09-2007, 08:21 AM
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I won't deny it: I'm hopelessly addicted to Bruce Wayne. Maybe it was my joy at the time he played Santa in that failed DC: Holiday Edition series, or the fact that the only friends I had in grade school were my comic books. I distinctly recall having my father order rare issues from the local comic shop, only to never read them for fear that it would deface their value. Flash forward fifteen years, and things haven't really changed that much. I get e-mail offers for rare vinyl from nerdy metal emporium websites, and I click away. Sure, there have been instances when I have fondly remembered my life as a Batman nut, but I have some of those birthday parties on tape, and I don't want to be that person again.
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  #9  
Old 12-09-2007, 02:04 PM
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Angelripper Angelripper is offline
Hearts I Rip?
 
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Cool

Quote:
Originally Posted by zgodt View Post
Write a paragraph about yourself in which you use all of the following words at least once:

offers
click
instances
order
flash
Santa
time
books
Bruce Wayne
tape
People always asked me, would I flash Bruce Wayne? In order to do that, I would need incentives, possible gifts, massive offers that I could never turn down? So I decided, why do one normal man, when I can reveal myself to Santa? It was like a light bulb clicked in my head; what an idea! In the instances when I did show my wang to Jolly Ol' St. Nick, I made sure to capture it on tape, and write down his reactions in my erotic books.
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  #10  
Old 12-10-2007, 12:15 PM
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I've gotten offers to do porn. I'd have done it, but none of the scripts would click with me. There were instances when I felt it'd put my life in order, but I'd rather not be fifty years old and have a flash back to my youth when I boned people for a living. There was a strange script I once read that involved Santa and the space time continuum; it's better than all of the books I've ever read, but it required a lot of strange character development. In particular, I'm referring to the Bruce Wayne fetish. I think it'd be strange to play a character with that kind of fetish...but then again, I'm still waiting for that Christian Bale sex tape.

>_>

None of the above is true, in case you didn't catch that.
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