Manky's Year In Review: Pop Edition

[energymetal14]

Yeah these songs really are terrible.

[mankvill]

8.

Rihanna - Where Have You Been



This really sucks, not just because it's not that great of a pop song - it sucks so much because Rihanna used to be on top of the game. She's now released like three or four of the exact same sounding songs in a row, and her vocal abilities are being put on the shelf in order to blast in some crappy electronica instead. Seriously, whenever this song is on the radio, you can't hear ANYTHING except the electronica part when it kicks in. Stupid. Making music for the dance clubs and not the general public = stupid stupid stupid. She is trying to be the female Pitbull, I guess. Also she got back with Chris Brown so she's a stupid slut.

[mankvill]

7.

Jessie J - Domino



Popular music had a lot more terrible vocalists singing over catchy beats than normal this year. Like...horrendous singers. Jessie J is not a good singer and she can't really vocalize, but I guess the beat was good enough to save this song from the bottom of the garbage bin. And this is probably the most explicit song about cunnilingus to ever reach radio airwaves.

[mankvill]

6.

The Wanted - Glad You Came



England, stop shipping us your failed pop groups. The Wanted is basically an even worse version of One Direction and Glad You Came is so fucking annoying because its main hook sounds like the music they play at Mexican Restaurants. Their overtly English accents also makes this song pretty hilarious at times, but that fucking musical hook kills it.

[mankvill]

5.

Flo Rida - Whistle



Another barely-there metaphor for getting his dick sucked, Flo Rida somehow stays huge even though I think he's one of the worst rappers around today. And, as I found out last year, whistling in songs is super-fucking annoying. Just still a little mind-boggling how his consistently low-quality songs are still huge time after time after time.

[mankvill]

4.

Nicki Minaj - Starships



WHY?

No seriously, why is Nicki Minaj so huge? Starships is probably her worst song on the radio of her career, but people are eating it up. She can't sing at all, and her rapping is about as good as Eve was on a bad day. This is a classic case of someone being huge for their image instead of their actual music. Funny side-note: if you say you dislike Nicki Minaj on tumblr, you'll get accused of racism!

[powerslave_85]

I don't have a problem with Nicki because "Super Bass" rules and her verse on Kanye's "Monster" is still untouchable.

[mankvill]

3.

Maroon 5 - One More Night



Despite being actually pretty okay at the start of their career, Maroon 5 has turned into one of the most insufferable acts in music today over the past couple of years, mostly because of their lead singer, Adam Levine. If he's not whistling or singing in a falsetto voice, his terrible vocals are dragged all across a basic beat, just like in this song. This song almost sounds like a parody version of everything that is wrong with Maroon 5. Barf.

[mankvill]

2.

P!nk - Try



Forget what I said about any of the previous entries not being able to sing, that's nothing compared to these last two entries. P!nk kind of came out of nowhere in the last few months with a "comeback" album, and both singles (the other being Blow Me (One Last Kiss)) are both equally pretty bad, but not only is she displaying her tone-deafness on "Try", it is also one of the worst examples of songwriting I've heard in recent years. It's forever pandering and a terrible message that is about as eloquent as a third grader writing about "not giving up." Stay out of the public eye, P!nk.

You're also uggo.

[mankvill]

1.

Katy Perry - Wide Awake



Katy Perry continues her career by releasing two of her worst singles to date, but the combination of ear-shattering singing and boring music pushes Wide Awake over the edge for me. I don't think anyone has ever accused Katy Perry of being a great singer, but when she hits the "falling from cloud NIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE" or the "IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII'M" near the end of the song is so grating because she cannot hit notes for the life of her. And she's obviously trying to recreate the success of Firework by releasing more "slow" songs which are Katy Perry's total weakness. Can't sing, but damn she's hotter than ever.