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  #1  
Old 07-21-2015, 04:00 AM
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NFL Season 2015-16

Well everyone, it's that time of year. Football is back! But wait you say, training camp hasn't even started, what are you talking about

well...WHY YOUR TEAM SUCKS of course, the best time of the year

and what better way to kick off the best NFL preview by starting with the diaper fire known as the Tampa Bay Buccaneers!

Like last year I will update this post when a new team preview is published

UPDATE 8/28- Panthers
------------------
NFC East
(7/24) Washington Redskins: http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-su...ins-1719717871
(7/30) New York Giants: http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-su...nts-1721065535
(8/21) Philadelphia Eagles: http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-su...les-1725165274
=====
NFC North
(7/28) Chicago Bears: http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-su...ars-1720623495
(8/10) Minnesota Vikings: http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-su...ngs-1723087595
(8/26) Detroit Lions: http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-su...ons-1726087529
=====
NFC South
(7/20) Tampa Bay Buccaneers: http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-su...ers-1718991122
(7/29) Atlanta Falcons: http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-su...ons-1720824337
(8/12) New Orleans Saints: http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-su...nts-1723604846
(8/28) Carolina Panthers: http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-su...ers-1726641363
=====
NFC West
(7/31) St. Louis Rams: http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-su...ams-1721321024
(8/18) San Francisco 49ers: http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-su...ers-1724542048
(8/27) Arizona Cardinals: http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-su...als-1726389620
=====
AFC East
(7/27) New York Jets: http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-su...ium=socialflow
(8/14) Miami Dolphins: http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-su...ins-1723928510
(8/19) Buffalo Bills: http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-su...lls-1724824323
=====
AFC North
(8/11) Cleveland Browns: http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-su...wns-1723346122
(8/24) Cincinnati Bengals: http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-su...als-1725399813
(8/25) Pittsburgh Steelers: http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-su...ers-1725629956
=====
AFC South
(7/21) Tennessee Titans: http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-su...ans-1719223375
(7/22) Jackonsville Jaguars: http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-su...ars-1719472297
(8/17) Houston Texans: http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-su...ium=socialflow
=====
AFC West
(7/23) Oakland Raiders: http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-su...ers-1719710243
(8/13) San Diego Chargers: http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-su...ers-1723853194
(8/20) Kansas City Chiefs: http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-su...efs-1725050368
=====
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Last edited by DisposableJustice; 08-29-2015 at 10:33 AM. Reason: 8/28: Panthers
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  #2  
Old 07-21-2015, 10:32 AM
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Magary came out of the gate strong this year. I almost pissed myself at "their "defensive backfield still handles recievers about as well they handle contraband fireworks" line and the bit about their new RV lot.
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  #3  
Old 07-21-2015, 01:10 PM
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Quote:
FUN FACT: The Titans possess only four active players on the roster any given week. They have to fill out the rest of the starting lineup with statues made from old floss and wet sand. Their stretching routine includes Oreos.
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Old 07-23-2015, 12:41 PM
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From today's post on the Raiders:
"Every pass that Christian Ponder completes is a small miracle from God. In that way, he fits in perfectly with the Raiders’ passing game."

Drew Magary is seriously a fucking genius.
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  #5  
Old 07-23-2015, 03:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mastodon421 View Post
From today's post on the Raiders:
"Every pass that Christian Ponder completes is a small miracle from God. In that way, he fits in perfectly with the Raiders’ passing game."

Drew Magary is seriously a fucking genius.
My favorite from the Raiders post:

Quote:
In a league where 32 teams split $7.2 billion dollars last season in revenue sharing - $226.4 million per team - our owner was seen flying SOUTHWEST AIRLINES to Denver to recruit Jack Del Rio. He probably sat in a middle seat, too.
Also, I think Al Davis never died, but instead when his body gave out they performed a ceremony where his soul was transferred to his son Mark. I don't know if Mark has kids of his own but just know when his body starts to fail: "hey kid grandpa is coming for a visit, close your eyes!"
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  #6  
Old 07-24-2015, 04:21 PM
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I know it's early. But that Redskins one was the best so far. That's going to be a tough one to dethrone.

I still need to get my Chiefs email into Drew before it's too late.
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  #7  
Old 07-27-2015, 08:35 AM
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Say what you want about America - 13 bucks can still get you a hell of a lot of mice!
 
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Love the Jets one. My favorites:

Quote:
Three years ago, Mark fucking Sanchez threw the ball to Tim fucking Tebow on a flat route and hit him in the back of his helmet.

Today, our quarterback situation is somehow even worse.
Quote:
My dad once gave my 8-year-old brother money to go to the concession stand at a Jets game. He came back with a hot dog for him and a beer for my dad. They sold beer to an 8-year-old! God bless New Jersey.
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  #8  
Old 07-28-2015, 12:38 PM
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The entire bears preview is full of win too much to paste here.

Also: Mr. Brady you should do a better job of getting rid of your criminal phone sir
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  #9  
Old 07-29-2015, 08:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DisposableJustice View Post
The entire bears preview is full of win too much to paste here.

Also: Mr. Brady you should do a better job of getting rid of your criminal phone sir
All of this. Drew beautifully crucified my Bears and Patriots players have a very bizarre theory that smashing your cellphone will lead to a full exoneration of your accused crime.
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  #10  
Old 07-29-2015, 08:54 AM
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There were reports that all he had to do was admit responsibility and his suspension would have been "atleast" cut in half if not more. You can even lie and say yes I did it. Does he look worse at all by admitting it vs dragging this out longer?

For anyone who is/was ever married, there's gonna be times where it's just easier to jump on the grenade and say "yes I did it, I messed up" and said issue eventually blows away. But nope, can't do it that way.
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