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Old 09-22-2011, 08:14 AM
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brutal_descent brutal_descent is offline
Happy birthday, darling. We love you very very very very very very much
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Russia
Posts: 5,850
Charlie Benante leaves Anthrax; joins Mets

Just one week after playing in Yankee Stadium with Anthrax as part of the “Big 4″ show, drummer Charlie Benante has shocked both the metal and baseball worlds by announcing his decision to ditch metal and throw away his long-time allegiance to the New York Yankees; Benante is now a New York Met.

“It was the show in Yankee Stadium that did it to me. I was disgusted by the attitude and hubris of that organization and their fans. What a bunch of pompous lunks,” said Benante when asked about signing with the cross-town rivals of his childhood favorite team. “I like being the underdog. Let’s be honest, the Mets stink right now and could use my help.” Indeed, with Mets owners Fred Wilpon and Saul Katz in deep financial trouble due to the pending lawsuit from Bernie Madoff recovery fund trustee Irving Picard, Benante provides an affordable option for the Mets moving forward.

Few knew Benante had the skills to compete in the big leagues: “Truth is I last played when I was 12, but I auditioned for Sandy Alderson and the rest of the Mets brass last week privately at Citi Field and I guess they liked what they saw.” With Johan Santana’s return dubious, the rest of the Mets starting rotation up in the air save for knuckle-baller R.A. Dickey and a number of touted pitching prospects such as Matt Harvey and Zach Wheeler not slated to reach the majors until 2013, Benante has a legitimate shot of making the big league club next year. Scouts described his fastball as “below average” but noted he excelled at keeping hitters off-balance with a devastating 12-6 curveball and a deceptively good sinker that results in a lot of ground balls.

Benante will be joining some of the younger Mets in the Arizona Fall League upon the completion of the upcoming Anthrax tour with Testament. From there his in-game skills will be evaluated and a game plan for next season will be reached. He figures to compete for a job as the #4 or #5 behind Santana [hopefully], Dickey, Jonathan Niese and possibly Mike Pelfrey, should the Mets choose to offer the big guy arbitration. He also might be a good fit for the long-man out of the bullpen.

On behalf of Mets fans everywhere, I’d like to extend a very warm welcome to Charlie Benante. You’ll like it in Flushing; the chinese food is sick, bro. Ask Scott Ian.

7/4 Modest Mouse, Echo & the Bunnymen
8/1 Slowdive
8/11 Protest the Hero
8/27 Metallica, Mastodon
9/17 Converge
10/18 Opeth
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Old 09-22-2011, 08:38 AM
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llama lom llama lom is offline
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Brockton, MA
Posts: 898
The fuck?

5/20: Rotten Sound
6/10: Torche
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Old 09-22-2011, 08:39 AM
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girnny777 girnny777 is offline
Sad Wings Of Destiny
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Shelton, CT
Posts: 786
I can't tell if this is a joke or not.
8/11 - Van Halen
8/21 - Suffocation
9/4 - Cannabis Corpse
9/15 - Anthrax, Motorhead
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Old 09-22-2011, 08:48 AM
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TonyD TonyD is offline
I like the way the line runs up the back of the stocking
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Bay Area
Posts: 6,391
Come on, it's on metalsucks
Brutaldescent, are you posting this thinking it was serious news?
6/28 Meh-hem Fest
7/9-7/16 Van Halen :|
7/23 RUSH
7/25 Alice in Chains?
8/1 Torche
9/29-30 Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats

Last edited by TonyD; 09-22-2011 at 08:51 AM.
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Old 09-22-2011, 09:59 AM
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ravenheart ravenheart is offline
Meanwhile, behind the facade of this innocent looking bookstore...
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: England
Posts: 19,958
Who signs for a sports team saying "they suck and need me". So obviously a joke. Silly Russian.

17/7 Ripper Owens
6/8 Queensryche
11/9 W.A.S.P.
18/9 Theater Equation
26/9 Ugly Kid Joe
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Old 09-22-2011, 10:32 AM
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Maidenmagic Maidenmagic is offline
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Posts: 643
Never trust a website called "metal sucks."
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Old 09-22-2011, 10:55 AM
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ShatteredFlame ShatteredFlame is offline
not the mama
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Hamden CT/Long Island NY
Posts: 2,166
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Old 09-22-2011, 11:48 AM
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MPF MPF is offline
That Guy
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 10,052
In related news. After Judging the Sam Ash Drum Competition this week, Mike Portnoy is now a Sam Ash employee.
That Drummer Guy's Reviews, Interviews, Playlists, Radio Shows, & Social Media:
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Old 09-22-2011, 11:56 AM
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BloodoftheKings BloodoftheKings is offline
Rats off to ya
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Strong Island
Posts: 6,003
Who can seriously fall for this? If you know anything about sports you would know that someone who has no experience in the minor leagues or anything like that could just sign with a major ball club. Plus no team would sign a man in his mid 40's with no experience.
8/1 - Thou
8/5 - Faith No More/Refused
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Old 09-22-2011, 12:01 PM
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BloodoftheKings BloodoftheKings is offline
Rats off to ya
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Strong Island
Posts: 6,003
Charlie throwing first pitch at the Cubs game.

Metalsucks photo.

8/1 - Thou
8/5 - Faith No More/Refused
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