Five Finger Death Punch needs a new bassist.

[mankvill]

This is just about the funniest thing ever.

[Derelict]

Originally Posted by rjturtle9

lol @ No drinkers or smokers.

Must look like a rockstar, but can't party like one? So in order to join this band you have to look like an asshole, and that's it. Oh how I hate tough guy metal.

win

[AnataFan4Life]

After reading that, I still can't believe people take this band seriously.

[Dextrimental]

Ya see, whenever people make fun of Lamb of God for being tough guy music, and unimaginativ or whatever, I pretty much assume they just haven't given these guys a decent listen. If you want whats wrong with modern mainstream metal, these are it.

[BloodoftheKings]

A representative for FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH's management has released the following statement to BLABBERMOUTH.NET:

"I think it was an honest mistake on someone's behalf, but we would like to be clear that NOTHING about this Musicians Institute flyer was approved by FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH or their management in any way. This flyer's existence was honestly not made known to the band or to management until it was posted on Blabbermouth. Even the band photo on the flyer is over three years old and has [former FIVE FINGER guitarist] Darryl Roberts in it, which hasn't been used in years. This flyer with an outdated photo and list of criteria are not from FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH in any way, shape or form."

[Northern_Shaman]

Originally Posted by BloodoftheKings

A representative for FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH's management has released the following statement to BLABBERMOUTH.NET:

"I think it was an honest mistake on someone's behalf, but we would like to be clear that NOTHING about this Musicians Institute flyer was approved by FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH or their management in any way. This flyer's existence was honestly not made known to the band or to management until it was posted on Blabbermouth. Even the band photo on the flyer is over three years old and has [former FIVE FINGER guitarist] Darryl Roberts in it, which hasn't been used in years. This flyer with an outdated photo and list of criteria are not from FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH in any way, shape or form."

I was wondering when I'd see something like that.

Believable? Yes.
Less funny? No.

Someone out there is a fucking excellent troll if true.

[MPF]

Five Finger Donkey Punch has a new bassist that they've been keeping under wraps for a while. It's the former bassist of a local Minnesota band called Throw The Fight. The announcement will be made right around, if not the same announcement as when they announce their next US tour.

As sad as it was, I knew this information for almost 2 months now and knew about 2 weeks before the official announcement that Donkey Punches' bassist was leaving the band. I'm going to guess mid to late may will have the official news.

[Steev]

I had a feeling it was fake


Still funny though

[ShatteredFlame]

My uncle found one of their CD's and has been calling me and his daughter about how awesome they are and he thinks we will love it just because we listen to music with screaming involved. He gets a chuckle out of some lyrics like "YOU DON't KNOW SHIT"

[fonzbear2000]

Even though it's fake, still pretty funny!