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  #1  
Old 02-20-2012, 01:16 PM
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street_burial street_burial is offline
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Danzig Gives Birth To Identical Twin Girls

When rumors first came out a few months back about Glenn Danzig taking a break from touring because of his pregnancy, most people thought it was just a publicity stunt or a very strange joke. However, on Friday at 5:34 AM, after being in labor for 18 hours, Danzig gave birth to two beautiful daughters. The girls, Christina and Sistinas, both weighed nearly seven pounds and were in great health. Danzig, overcome by the beauty of the moment, broke into an soulful, impromptu version of “Mother” as he lay prone on the operating table.

While male pregnancies are not common, thanks to medical technology they are becoming a bit less rare. Danzig, however, needed no help from doctors in order to spontaneously grow a womb and ovaries. He simply willed it.

Danzig, who is planning on creating a master race of Danzig children all sharing his superior DNA, knew that he couldn’t rely on his wives to help create perfect beings. In spite of the fact that he is currently married to 64 women, including actress Meryl Streep, he claimed in a recent interview that he refused to “diminish his essence” by procreating with others.

Danzig is not a stranger to bizarre birth stories. He was, in fact, born in a laboratory in Lodi, New Jersey in 1955. Dr. Helmut Neumann, a German scientist who immigrated to the US after World War 2, created Danzig by mixing the DNA of blues singer Robert Johnson, Russian mystic Rasputin and an Alaskan Grey Wolf. The result was a human who carried a nearly godlike voice, the ability to make women fall in love with him by simply breathing and the power to control the minds of feral animals. Some Danzig fans have claimed that his sweat is capable of curing lupus if ingested once a week for two consecutive months, but this has yet to be independently verified by scientists.

In spite of the fact that they are only three days old, the Danzig girls have already not only exhibited the ability to talk, they have already learned how to deny the possibility of a full Misfits reunion. The twins have received a great deal of attention around the nursury for their famous father and their matching devilock hairstyles. MTV has already approached the babies about doing their own reality television show called “The Danzig Sisters” which should be on television starting in the fall.


source: http://tyrannyoftradition.com/2012/0...al-twin-girls/


I know this is fake. I thought it would give some people a good laugh.
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  #2  
Old 02-20-2012, 01:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by street_burial View Post
In spite of the fact that they are only three days old, the Danzig girls have already not only exhibited the ability to talk, they have already learned how to deny the possibility of a full Misfits reunion.
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Old 02-20-2012, 01:41 PM
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If I had a vajayjay, I'd let Danzig get me pregnant.
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Old 02-20-2012, 02:19 PM
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hahahaha
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Old 02-21-2012, 01:34 PM
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Awesome thread is awesome!
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Old 02-21-2012, 09:17 PM
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hellawaits77ny hellawaits77ny is offline
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Originally Posted by elturtleboy View Post
If I had a vajayjay, I'd let Danzig get me pregnant.


LOL, dude that's a really bizarre thing to joke about!
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Old 02-25-2012, 05:23 PM
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adamclark52 adamclark52 is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by street_burial View Post
When rumors first came out a few months back about Glenn Danzig taking a break from touring because of his pregnancy, most people thought it was just a publicity stunt or a very strange joke. However, on Friday at 5:34 AM, after being in labor for 18 hours, Danzig gave birth to two beautiful daughters. The girls, Christina and Sistinas, both weighed nearly seven pounds and were in great health. Danzig, overcome by the beauty of the moment, broke into an soulful, impromptu version of “Mother” as he lay prone on the operating table.
That line right there got me.
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