Possibly Worst Review I've Ever Read

300%_Density · #1 05-01-2011, 01:09 PM

I have always found metal-rules.com to be a pretty good website...till I saw them review new Emmure. Almost brought to tears. Bad enough it got a 4/5. I wanted to emphasize a sentence in the review.

"Just compare Slayer’s ‘Reign in Blood’ to Emmure’s ‘Solar Flare Homicide’. Solar Flare Homicide by far has the heavier riff and the harsher vocals capable of igniting hundreds of fans into a wall of death."

What in the hell? Normally I wouldn't post something like this but it was to fail not to. For anyone wishing for a good laugh this is the review: http://www.metal-rules.com/review/vi...ar=2011&pos=14

For those of you w/ weak stomachs read this on an empty stomach. LAWL

MPF · #2 05-01-2011, 01:14 PM

Damn I knew I shouldn't have eaten before reading this.

Actually it's not nearly the worse review I've read or heard. I still remember reading that Slipknot's IOWA will be remembered as the 2000's Master Of Puppets.

But this one sucks as well.

El Gordo · #3 05-01-2011, 01:19 PM

That's pretty funny, not to mention surprising. I don't frequent that website very often anymore, but they've always had a pretty heavy power/trad leaning, so that review is definitely not typical for them. Weird. Oh, and Emmure is dog shit.

300%_Density · #4 05-01-2011, 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MPF

I still remember reading that Slipknot's IOWA will be remembered as the 2000's Master Of Puppets.

Good GAWD that is hilarious and disgusting all at one time. Yes that still exceeds the Emmure review.

masterguy49 · #5 05-01-2011, 02:28 PM

"Speaker of the Dead is the ideal album to be played live in its entirety. As soon as you play this album you will get the feeling that you are throwing down in the pit at your local venue. Songs like: ‘Dogs get put Down’, ‘Bohemian Groove’ and ‘A Voice From Below’ were all written with a purpose to get a crowd hyped. It feels so good to know that you can mosh and bounce and hardcore dance to this album anywhere and you couldn’t give a damn what anyone thinks about you."
I'm speechless.

mastodon421 · #6 05-01-2011, 02:39 PM

This review is really bad, I laughed really hard throughout.

ravenheart · #7 05-01-2011, 02:52 PM

Rule 1: never, ever compare the latest release by a popular band to a recognised classic. Ever. It can only backfire.

mankvill · #8 05-01-2011, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ravenheart

Rule 1: never, ever compare the latest release by a popular band to a recognised classic. Ever. It can only backfire.

I try to avoid doing this so much.

Like, I hated reading reviews of Death Magnetic that kept comparing it to their first four records. Blargh.

makethemsuffer12 · #9 05-01-2011, 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mankvill

I try to avoid doing this so much.

Like, I hated reading reviews of Death Magnetic that kept comparing it to their first four records. Blargh.

Well in that case it's a little different, considering they're all by the same friggin' band. But shit like "The Blackening is the modern Master of Puppets" is dumb.

300%_Density · #10 05-01-2011, 03:35 PM

I would have preferred taking the positive route of reviews of Death Magnetic and say "Hey it's still definitely better than St. Anger".