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Old 03-19-2012, 06:12 AM
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kalfitegrdan kalfitegrdan is offline
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: DeKalb, IL
Posts: 4,500
I'm gonna go ahead and piggyback on this thread with my own Mayhem Fest dream set lists. (Deal with it) I know it's probably not gonna happen like this, but whatever.

I The Breather is set to start the day out, but they stayed up late into the night preaching and overslept and missed their set time. Sarcastic sad faces all around.

High on Fire is next, because I assume the second stage and Sumerian stage will be rotating. Right after they start the opening riff to Frost Hammer, hardcore kid's heads start exploding left and right because they can't comprehend the sheer awesomeness. (Much to the chagrin of a few of the subsequent bands) Nary a hardcore kid is to be found after this mere thirty minute set.

Frost Hammer
Rumors of War
Hung, Drawn and Quartered
Death is This Communion
Fertile Green

Upon a Burning Body is next and they are a little shaken by having to follow such a performance, but they perform to the best of their abilities. (The extent of which, some may argue)

Sin City
Righteous Kill
Carlito's Way
Donnie Brasco
(new song)
Any Given Sunday
Devil's Advocate

Whitechapel comes next. Seconds before they take the stage, they have a sudden epiphany that their new album sucked and This Is Exile is overplayed. They decide to only play songs from The Somatic Defilement.

The Somatic Defilement
Ear To Ear
Fairy Fay
Articulo Mortis
Devirgination Studies
Alone in the Morgue
Vicer Exciser
Prostatic Fluid Asphyxiation

Dirtfedd is next. They play the song Trained to Kill, but then realize that no one knows or cares about them. They proceed to chant, "Slayer!" for the remaining twenty six minutes of their set which drives the crowd to a near frenzy.

Trained to Kill

The Devil Wears Prada stayed up late preaching with I The Breather, but unfortunately woke up on time. The Devil Wears Prada's intro music plays (probably something dubstep) as they prepare to take the stage, but before they can play a note, the ground begins to tremble and quake. Up from the ground rises Satan himself. The Devil Wears Prada throw Bible after Bible at Satan, but this doesn't stop him from tearing their flesh from their bone and feasting upon their delicious innards. Satan decides to stick around for the rest of the show, because it's fuckin' Slayer.

Before Asking Alexandria takes the stage, Satan picks up Danny Worsnop and surgically removes (with hellfire) a dick lodged deep within his rectum which causes him to forget how to clean sing and do long division. Asking Alexandria take the stage and have a less annoying, clean singing-free set. Satan goes and gets some beer and nachos while they're on.

A Single Moment of Sincerity
A Candlelit Dinner with Inamorta
Morte et Dabo
Not the American Average
Nobody Don't Dance No More
I Was Once Possibly, Maybe, Perhaps a Cowboy King

Anthrax go on and play like never before, fueled by the circle pitting of the Prince of Darkness.

Earth on Hell
Among the Living
Judas Priest
Caught in a Mosh
Efilnikufesin (N.F.L.)
Bring the Noise
Metal Thrashing Mad

As I Lay Dying got lost somewhere very mediocre on the way to the venue and decide to stay there.

Motorhead open the main stage and the place just explodes with energy. Satan is appeased.

Iron Fist
(We Are) The Road Crew
Love Me Like a Reptile
The Chase is Better Than the Catch
No Class
I Got Mine
Killed By Death
Ace of Spades

Slayer come on and play the entire Seasons in the Abyss album. (Because I'm still kicking myself for missing that in 2010) During Hell Awaits, Satan loses his shit and ends up eviscerating scores of "maggots". Then when they play South of Heaven he has a mosh-off with a fat, sweaty, drunk guy with a neckbeard.

War Ensemble
Blood Red
Spirit in Black
Expendable Youth
Dead Skin Mask
Hallowed Point
Skeletons of Society
Born of Fire
Seasons in the Abyss
Psychopathy Red
Altar of Sacrifice
The Antichrist
Hell Awaits
Silent Scream
Die By the Sword
Kill Again
South of Heaven
Angel of Death
Raining Blood

Slipknot comes on to close the night. After Spit it Out, Corey Taylor falls to the stage and is confirmed dead. Everybody turns to Satan. "Fuck you, guys! It wasn't me." Satan gets pissed, buys a Slayer shirt and beer koozie and leaves the venue. Apparently Corey Taylor's death was due to heart failure, which will later be linked to the Illuminati and the Summer Slaughter opener poll. Anders Colsefni, Slipknot's original vocalist, pushes his way to the front and hops on stage to finish the show off by playing Mate.Feed.Kill.Repeat in its entirety.

Left Behind
I Am Hated
My Plague
Spit it Out
Do Nothing/Bitchslap
Only One
Tattered and Torn
Some Feel
Killers are Quiet
11/21 Deceased
11/27 King Diamond
11/28 Terror and Cross Examination
12/4 Harm's Way
12/5 Graveyard ?
12/13 ACxDC
12/26 Macabre
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