"Thank you for your call to the WorldBridge Service Call Centre, the UK Border Agency’s commercial partner. Below is a response to your enquiry:
Due to the nature of your request it has been escalated in order to provide you with a complete response.
Please be informed that we understand the importance of your issue and we strive to respond to it as quickly and thoroughly as possible."
THAT WAS SERIOUSLY THE RESPONSE
Mortals are mortar and life is the fuse.