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Old 11-21-2010, 01:06 AM
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DethMaiden DethMaiden is offline
We're dying on the inside
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: NYC
Posts: 28,834
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Alright, my half-assed 4 AM review that's bound to have a ton of grammatical errors:

I got to the Frankie's 30 minutes before doors were set to open and froze my balls off with about 30 other metal faithful from Toledo and surrounding areas. Finally got inside, went to Landmine Marathon's merch table to pick up their first record which I still didn't have, talked to Grace Perry for around five minutes about this and that, truly one of the kindest band members I've ever had the good fortune of meeting.

Up first was Buried But Breathing, and boy, did they fucking suck. Here's the snide thing I saved as a draft in my phone after their set, verbatim:

"Okay guys, first band meeting. Who has some ideas for our sound?"
"What about if every song had a riff stolen from a slow Slayer song?"
"Keep talking."
"Okay, and instead of solos, we'll put big dumb breakdowns."
"How many?"
"Tons. The entire songs will be mosh parts."
"What if no one moshes?"
"Ah, we tell our fat fuck friends about the show and they'll do all the moshing while the rest of the crowd looks on bored."
"I love it. Meeting adjourned."

Next up was Landmine Marathon, who have a good shot at my "live set of the year" title once I decide to think about that. If you know anything about LM live, you know that Grace Perry is a fucking animal up there. Well, after the first two songs (killer renditions of two of their best tunes) I wasn't sure if she still did the shit she used to do, because she had stayed on stage and done her thing remaining mostly aloof of the crowd. When they launched into "Exist," though, I realized I was wrong. How, you ask? Because Grace Perry grabbed me by the fucking collar and screamed in my face. Over the course of the rest of the set, she proceeded to yank on my hair, jump on me, claw at my chest, make a veil over my face out of her hair, and do so many other things that I can't even think of right now, in addition to her usual running into the crowd and joining the mosh pit while singing. It was so raw and sexual and exhilarating and added a whole 'nother dimension to the already awesome set jammed full of awesome early death metal/grindcore worship with an updated sound that I can't even explain it. You need to see this band. NOW.

The mighty Skeletonwitch went on last and did their thing. It was awesomely beer-soaked heavy fucking metal, and there's not much else to say. Chance grabbed me and let me sing "DEEP BEYOND THE PERMAFROST!" and "BAPTIZED IN FLAMES!" at the relevant moments, and everyone in the (fairly large for the size of the venue) crowd was really fucking into it. Great set by a great band.

I don't usually do reviews like this, but manks does, so I'll do the manks point system:

Buried But Breathing: 2/10
Landmine Marathon: 10/10
Skeletonwitch: 8/10
Mortals are mortar and life is the fuse.
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