Seriously, let's see...
Dave Mustaine: Either disband Megadeth, donate all your royalties to charity, and become a plumber, or shut up. Seriously, shut up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fucking fuck up. SHUT YOUR CHRISTIAN FAGGOT FUCKHOLE MOUTH! Everytime you bitch about Metallica, you are essentially saying "I would sell my soul to have a Diamond selling record, regardless of quality, and I wish I was still in Metallica." I don't care if you have a picture of Lars & James having sex with dead babies and reveal it to the world, Metallica fanboys won't care, because they will still see you as a greedy, whiny bitch.
Dio fans: Ozzy was always cooler.
Sharon: Please die already, preferably before your husband.
Iron Maiden fans: It's been four years since eggfest and you have yet to grow balls and retaliate against that bitch. No I don't care that you have lives and jobs. For this one you have to sacrifice and take one for the team. I hope Iron Maiden breaks up today just to spite you all.
Manowar: Any so called "true Metal" credibility you had flew out the window when you decided to downtune.
Slayer: You were always the most overrated band in metal. Go away.
Adrian Smith: Take your solo spots back and start learning them properly.
Dave Murray: Start learning your solos properly. If Glenn Tipton realizes playing the right notes for the fans is more important than satisfying yourself, then so can you.
Janick Gers: Dude, you have a free lunch for the rest of your life by running around on stage, do you really need Adrian's solo spots?
Steve Harris: You are ruining Iron Maiden. It isn't your band anymore. It's my band. Stop ruining my band.
Brent Hinds: No you are not art rock, you are metal. If you try to make it otherwise, we will kill you.
Vinnie Paul: Suck it up and realize that without Phil Anselmo, nobody would have ever given a shit about you. I'm not saying you have to welcome him back with open arms, but it's obvious you don't want to give the fans what they really want -a PANTERA video, not a Dimebag video- because you don't want Phil making more money off of you. If that's the case, then fuck off and take all the Pantera records out of record store circulation, because that is hypocrisy, pure and simple.
Rare: Fuck you for not putting the Banjo Kazooie games on the Nintendo Virtual Console.
Gene Simmons: The next time you are running your mouth in front of a camera, I hope you shit your pants.
Gene Hoglan: Stop being in shitty bands.
Republicans: You aren't in charge any more, and thank God. You killed this country, and quite possibly the human race. And with any luck, we won't give it back to you for a long time. Now stop complaining before we throw you all in death camps.
Me: I suck, why do I always have to discover new bands just after the reunion ends (Carcass, At The Gates) or after the artist dies (James Brown)? Fuck if Michael Jackson was still alive, sooner or later I would have bought Thriller, but there's no way in hell I'm doing that now because I'm not going to be one of "those people." There are enough of those as it is.
You know its true, bunny rabbits we have got lovely little fluffy bottoms. We do. That's why people often mistake us for Danny Devito.
Last edited by JRA; 12-24-2009 at 10:53 AM.