Very long review:
My friends J.T., BJ, and I got to the venue pretty early, but it ended up being for nothing. Only about two or three people in front of us had Pit tickets. So we waited, talking about random shit. My cousin Trevor showed up and a few minutes later Luke, a friend from another city, showed with his girl and talked shit with us. I was convinced to bring along my friend's step brother, who has something wrong with him. They say he isn't retarded, but if you saw him, you would definitely think he was. He has weird twitches, a lot of them. He'll shove his hands into his armpits, raise his elbows above his shoulders, then tap his sides really quickly. He'll bring his hips back, clap his hands in front of him, bring his hips forward, clap his hands behind him, and repeat...a lot. He runs and goes down stairs like Quasimodo. He wandered off many times and people kept staring at him, I felt really bad for the little guy. Luckily he had a balcony ticket so we didn't have to worry about him getting hurt. Only saw maybe a total of five not shitty shirts while in line..kind of disappointing. Also saw a Marilyn Manson wannabe and some kid with Drew Carey glasses wearing a purple v-neck. Most metal guy I've seen this year.
Got into the venue, got a shirt because they said they were selling out fast, got to our spot on the rail, stage left, right next to the ginormous speaker..yay! High On Fire came on and they put on a really good show, but I just couldn't dig the music. J.T., being a huge Motorhead fan, liked them though.
Converge was unfortunately up next. The beginning was alright, the guitarist standing alone on stage in the spotlight, playing a pretty groovy riff, then the scrawny vocalist wearing a big poofy black jacket came on stage and I for some reason felt like I was going to hate them, and I was right. He pretty much deep throated the mic and screamed what sounded like "FUCK" a lot. He threw the mic in the air and caught it, and spun it around at least twice during each song. He also did some stupid hand grabbing motions to his sides, and acted all dramatic like by putting his hand over his mouth and slowly sliding it down to his chest. I could never tell what the hell was going on with the music, it all sounded the same, and would just randomly end, leaving my friends and I confused as fuck. The best thing about this band was the photographer for Metal Injection. This girl was wearing an extremely awesome outfit, which showed off her perfect BOOBIES!
Since I didn't enjoy Converge at all, I just watched her, which made the experience better. This fine piece of work was not just hot as fuck, she was downright fucking beautiful. After Converge left and everyone booed them she came over to my side of the stage, so BJ and I lifted our shirts to show her our amazingly gorgeous tits. Her, and the other photographer who wasn't as blessed as Ms. Metal Injection laughed a lot. The other even took a picture of me, which came out, I must say, very metal. We then talked about pictures, Metallica, Mastodon, and Dethklok. Ms. Metal Injection said those 9 magic words (yes, I just counted them on my fingers) I like everything by Metallica before the Black Album
I was immediately ready to call up the girlfriend, break up with her and get this amazing woman's number. But, being the loving gentleman of a boyfriend I am, I contained myself. I told her she was the smartest attractive girl I've ever talked to. That made her happy. The other picture taker lady was saying that everything by Metallica is good and what not and BJ was fighting with her, just to piss her off. Then I noticed the Gears Of War 2 lanyard hanging around her neck, so I grabbed it and yelled THIS GAME FUCKING SUCKS! THE FIRST ONE IS BETTER! She looked confused. BJ and Ms. Metal Injection laughed. Oh, Willie (the buff as shit security guard that looks like Willie Adler) came up to me and said "what the hell was that shit?" after Converge left. I told him I was just as confused as he was and he laughed and went back to spitting chew into his water bottle.
Mastodon came on so the camera girls had to go do their jobs. Ms. Metal Injection pretty much staying near to where we were the whole time. She flipped her hair to the side and I caught a whiff of her it...holy shit did she smell good, I believe she did this on purpose just to make my pants look like a tent. Instead of gawking like a high school virgin teenager, I put my attention on Mastodon, who I thought were kind of boring, but was amazed at how talented they were. The best thing about them were the video playing behind them, Ms. Metal Injection of course, and this guy on the side of the stage who somehow got on the other side of the rail. This dude had to be on some psychedelic shit. When he wasn't taking pictures on his camera phone he was standing directly in front of the huge speaker, staring at the ceiling, lifting his arms in the air. He did so many fucking weird Dragon Ball Z type movements with his hands, it was fucking hilarious. J.T., Trevor, BJ and I were watching him more than half the time, laughing our asses off. Then he somehow ended up right behind us a little later, and I noticed a huge nasty ass rash on his arm, so I steered clear. He tried to get in between BJ and J.T. so they both turned and pushed him..really fucking hard. Eventually after a bunch of arguing he backed off and left. By this time Mastodon had finished playing so I talked to Ms. Metal Injection about the weirdo doing sorcery on the side of the stage.
Some girls came up behind BJ and I and one said "I will show you my tits if you let me in your spot." We looked at each other and asked what we should do. I told him he can let her up there all he wants, but I'm not moving. He turned to her and said "Ok, LET'S DO THIS!" so she brought her shirt down, exposing the top half of her boobs. BJ yelled BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! and poked them rapidly with both index fingers, making her laugh, then he turned around and laughed. He told her "I saw no nipple, that doesn't count!" She seemed alright with it. The video playing the Dethklok/Brutal Legend intro type thing was hilarious and I forgot all about Ms. Metal Injection. The band ran onto the stage and opened with Detheme. My posse finally got into the show, all of us screaming along with Brendon. They were already better than the first time I saw them. Actually showing their faces, interacting with the crowd. I screamed every word with the band, and many times Bryan Beller pointed his bass at me and screamed with me. Gene Hoglan is a fucking machine, and added awesome double bass beats to some parts of a few songs, which made them sound a lot cooler. I headbanged in between verses and for Thunderhorse in it's entirety since the only lyrics are "Thunderhorse" "Ride" and "Revenge". Go Into The Water's beginning gave me goosebumps and I completely went ape shit during Fansong, giving them all of my energy before they departed. They actually seemed very grateful to be playing to us. Brendon introduced the band, Bryan introduced Brendon, and he did this funny little walk that ended with him pretending to swing a golf club in slow motion and watching the ball fly into the stands, it was quite funny, and it made me like the show so much more. I love it when you know the band you paid to see is having fun on stage and showing everyone they love doing what they do. Bryan pointed at me and smiled before he left the stage and I returned the favor. Security made us leave so we all went behind the venue to try and meet the band, but of course it started fucking raining so we said our goodbyes to Luke, Leah (his girl), and Trevor, found Dallas (friend's step brother) and did our concert tradition, went to Ihop and talked about what we just witnessed.
Even though I only came for one band, it was a fun fucking show. If you put off Dethklok because they aren't a "real band" you are seriously missing out.
I also got a new friend. Ms. Metal Injection is actually Miss Scarlett and she lives in Oklahoma City and...some fucking how...is single.