Originally Posted by SomewhereInTime72
Along with Radiohead, Tool is a favorite of many pseudo-intellectual teenagers and faggots. They're a band which thinks that writing lyrics about lachrymology makes them artistic. The band, led by midget Maynard James Keenan, is known for their deep and insightful songs about enemas, fisting, Maynard's penis, and being raped in the ass by one's stepfather as a child, as well as their "highly technical" instrumentation. On closer examination, Tool's lyrics reveal that the band are really just a bunch of retards who read too much and should shut the fuck up. For better or worse, Tool's pretentious literary aspirations have not affected any Tool fans, whose literacy rate remains at a steady zero.