El Turtle Boy's 2013 Nalga Kickng list. Haters will hate/Butts will be hurt
[FONT="Arial Black"][SIZE="5"]Top 30 Albums of 2013! (part 1)[/SIZE][/FONT]
[B]30. Lil B ĎThe BasedGodí - 05 Fuck Em[/B]
Lil B surprised us all on X-Mas eve with this one. He had been bragging all year about a new mixtape.I thought he was just lagging it,but nope. He took forever cause this shit has 101 songs. Fuck off Beyonce this is a cooler surprise. Still Based. He samples System Of Down for fucks sake. And a song that sounds very similar to No-Cash. Fucking rare shit. This was one of the best Christmas gifts we got this year. Thank You Based God!
[B]29. Dead In The Dirt- The Blind Hole[/B]
Fast as fuck Grindcore from Atlanta Georgia. If you thought those 2 EPís they had were tough,wait til you get the whole enchilada. Total grindcrushing shit. I once saw these guys in a tiny hot small room in a hot summer night. I think that where they got the album name from.
[B]28. Flagitious Idiosyncrasy of the Dilapidation - Wallow[/B]
Japanese Grindcore done by the most cutest people in Grindcore. 16 Fast tracks that will have your jaw dropped and asking for more. This album had little promotion and I donít think many people know it exist. Listen to it! Kawai Grind!
[B]27. Ride At Dawn - Blast Cage[/B]
]6 Raw As Punk Black Metal tunes. Very fucking short and they consider it a full length. It was good so I ainít arguing. Lo-Fi,D-beat,and Kvlt.
[B]26. Joel Grind - The Yellowgoat Sessions[/B]
Remember when Toxic Holocaust used to be a one man band? Well even tho Joel Grind doesnít mind the 3 piece he still wants to do dirty raw Black Metal/Punk/Thrash on his own. Not as Thrashy at Toxic but itís total Bathory worship. Itís completely raw and crappy quality. Which is why this is making my list instead of the new Toxic. Great job again Mr. Grind.
[B]25. Motorhead - Aftershock[/B]
Admit it. Motorhead sound the same in every album. Not that itís bad,its still great ol Motorhead but it takes a lot for them to be Jizz-Worthy nowadays. But its fucking Motorhead. And this one is def one of the best theyíve done in many years. Maybe since Hammered or Snake Bite Love. Lemmy of coarse still has it being as old as he is. But he is the holy one and what not. This might be their last album. So enjoy it loud.
[B]24. Exhumed - Necromancy
Exhumed made a new album already. When they returned 2 years ago with No Guts, No Glory I thought it was ok. This one the other hand is much better. I get more of an older vibe with this one while its still the similar Deathgrind theyíve been blasting the past years or so. Nothing will ever touch the 1st 2 albums but this is still cool. Gore Fucking Metal.
[B]23. Weekend Nachos - Still[/B]
I barley found out about this one. One of Powerviolenceís best brought us new shit to get pissed too only 2 years later. That quick huh? Itís actually not to different from Worthless. Maybe like a sequel to it. Even though itís nothing new to the table,itís something you like to blast loud which reminds you why Weekend Nachos is one of your favorite bands ever.
[B]22. Gama Bomb - The Terror Tapes[/B]
Gama Bomb are hands down of of my favorite Modern Thrash bands. Straight from Ireland you get some of the silliest songs ever. No Los Angeles poser shit here. High screams,shorts tunes,and beautiful lyrics about William Dafoe and Shitting Yourself. You think modern Thrash is all the same? Listen to this.
[B]21. Skeletonwitch - Serpents Unleashed[/B]
Skeletonwitch always makes my list. Black Metal vocals,Iron Maiden guitars,with a Thrash Metal vibe. Also a hint of Death Metal. Skeli can do no wrong,and they honestly get better each album.
[FONT="Arial Black"][SIZE="5"]Top 30 Albums of 2013! (part 2)[/SIZE][/FONT]
[B]20. Black Flag - What TheÖ[/B]
Hate all you want motherfuckers. I did not hate this. Greg Ginn brought back the band from the dead with Ron Reyes(my 2nd fav BF singer) to give us this. Its no surprise this sounded like this. Did you dudes not listen to In My Head? This was totally coming. Luckily Ronís vocals made this a Grungy Punk album sound great. Maybe I just love Ron too much. This is nothing compared to any of the previous albums but itís not bad. If you liked In My Head,Mudhoney,or even Flipper. Give this a shot. Ron is no longer in the band so this was great while it lasted.
[B]19. Hank III - A Fiendish Threat[/B]
When people say they play Horror Punk you just know its gonna be bad. You imagine shitty gimmicks and kids playing Graves era Misfits sounding songs about Vampires. And youíre gonna hear Astro Zombies 3 times that night. Country singer Hank Williams III made a horror punk album. This is impressive. There is a country in it but in no way is it Psychobilly. This is some great stuff. Stick this in your Hot Topic coffin and smoke it.
[B]18. Rotting Out - The Wrong Way[/B]
Rotting Out is no doubt one of the best new HxC bands weíve seen in the past few years. With their crazy ass shows, devoted fan base,and sing long choruses it no surprise why theyíre everyoneís favorites. This one is a big step up. Perfect for skating to,singing along to,or crowed surfing to. Hope you know some Spanish. Paisa HxC por vida.
[B]17. Black Sabbath - 13[/B]
The Godís have returned. Ozzy Osborne,Geezer Butler and the great Tony Iommi have made a new Sabbath album. They have recorded music together since 1978. They still fucking have it. Iommi fucking shreads like theres no tomorrow and Ozzyís voice isnít that bad for once. Total fuckin Heavy Metal. This might even be better than Technical Ecstasy and Never Say Die. The only bummer is original drummer Bill Ward wasnít on it then itíd be far more perfect. But this is close enough. This is Black Fucking Sabbath.
[B]16. Iron Reagan - Worse Than Dead[/B]
Get half of Municipal Waste,One dude from Darkest Hour,and some random ass guy from ANS and you have Iron Reagan. Do you miss when The Waste was still relevant and kicked ass live and on record. I say we just all pretend they broke up after The Art Of Partying and start praising this. gem. Fast Hardcore Thrash songs. Cmon look at the name. This is some great shit. Way better than the last 2 Waste albums. If you have em,throw em away and bump this.
[B]15. Darkthrone - The Underground Resistance[/B]
A lot of people didnít know how to react to Darkthrones new album. They went from playing the best fucking Black Metal ever to Crust Punk to this. Which is like Bathoryish-Speed Metal-Punk-Thrash Heavy fucking Metal. Darkthrone can do no wrong. This shit is wonderful. And who the fuck knew Fenriz can bust those high notes? That crazy fuck. Darkthrone will never make another Transylvanian Hunger album. Get over it.
[B]14. Hoax - Hoax (LP)[/B]
Hoax once again proves how dangerous Punk can be. And here it is. 12 Raw Hardcore Punk tunes to punch your face in. Itís mean. Itís hard. Itís Hoax.
[B]13. Morbosidad - Muerte de Cristo en Golgota[/B]
Paisa Beastial Blackened Death Metal that would make my Grandmother have a heart attack if she heard those lyrics. Evil as shit stuff. In case you ever want to go to Tijuana and do some spooky things your Mama told you not to do,hereís the soundtrack. Morboso always knows how to pump you up. And creep you out.
[B]12. Von - Dark Gods: Seven Billion Slaves[/B]
Uh oh! USBM Legends made another album. Remember last years? Yikes! Good news though,this one is really fucking good! It does start out dull at first. But then they bash your sou out with the Raw Kvlt shit that made you love em like when you first heard the Satanic Blood demoís. Von tried hard to redeem themselves this year. It worked. Remember guys,it was them to make it raw in America first.
[B]11. Nails - Abandon All Life[/B]
Nails started out 2013 with some of the hardest shit ever. As if they didnít have a loyal following before,they got a bigger one now. This shit is heaaaavyy. If you loved Unsilent Death as much as me,prepare to be stunned. This is a lot of peoples #1.
Cool list so far...
[B][B]]Top 30 Albums of 2013! (part 3)[/B][/B]
[B]10. A$AP Rocky - Long Live. A$AP.[/B]
A$AP Rocky hit the mainstream and everyone became a fan of the Mob leader. We all know Mainstream Rap nowadays usually sucks ass but this album did not. As much as Skrillix annoys me the song he did with A$AP here is the catchiest song ever. The song with Drake is still lame cause Drakes a bitch. But the songs with Santigold,Joey BadA$$,and A$AP Ferg are all great. Im getting so much shit for this but I don’t care. A$AP foo.
[B]9. Iron Lung - White Glove Test[/B]
Extreme Power. Extreme Violence.
[B]8. Nekrofilth - Devil’s Breath[/B]
Feat. members of Nunslaughter and Apartment 213. You get the filthiest fucking Crossover/Death/Thrash combo. Think Ghoul meeting Midnight. Man this is some fast n dirty shit. Perfect for perverts. Super for satanist.
[B]7. P.L.F. - Devious Persecution And Wholesale Slaughter[/B]
PLF is just one band you can’t get sick of. The vocals,the guitars,the drums,the speed,the artwork. Perfect Grindcore is perfect.
[B]6. Holy - Age Of Collapse[/B]
Holy is a hardcore band from Italy. They might be the greatest band Italy has to offer right now because this shit is some fist pounding,jaw dropping,and stage diving Hardcore. Fast and angry. Put the pizza down foo,this is is some Holy shit.
[B]5. Ghost - Infestissumam[/B]
Ghost is a beautiful band you’d think your old hippie uncle listens to. But no Ghost is Sweden’s Metallica. Traditional Heavy Metal Rock at its finest. The fact that the soft vocals are singing satanic lyrics is crazy. i don’t feel like im listening to Metal with this. it’s something completely different. Either way. It’s mind blowing for sure. Hate all you want Ghost rules.
[B]4. Mammoth Grinder- Underworlds[/B]
Hardcore,Sludge,Death Metal,and Grindcore all in one. As if Terrorizer had a baby. Mammoth Grinder is heavy shit you can head bang to,mosh to, anything. Mammoth Grinider is definitely the all around band. Crusty Death Metal at its finest. Im surprised how much I loved new Mammoth Grinder. I loved it a lot
[B]3. Tyler, The Creator - Wolf[/B]
My favorite Hip-Hop album this year is defiantly Wolf. This stayed in my CD player for months. Tyler tells a story about his alter egos. It goes from silly to dead serious in seconds. Shit you can relate to and shit about his fame. Catchy Rap songs, emotional Hip-Hop,over all shit you can party too and walk home too. I fucking hate you. But I love this.
[B]2. Retox - YPLL[/B]
JP always makes amazing shit. This ones another perfect one. Retox returns with songs better than the last album(and the one was fucking dope too). JP’s vocals are fucking dope in this one. Not screaming like Locust at all. Total Punk Rock shouting. His vocals were always my favorite but this one he shows his best. Also the guitar n bass duos are what make it my favorite. Especially in the song “I’ve had it up to here im going to prison”. Goddamn this shit is unique. Retox rules. Retox really rules.
[B]1. Deafheaven - Sunbather[/B]
Last year before they even released anything from it I said I knew it was gonna be my favorite album of the year. Which it was. But I didn’t think major magazines and press would agree with me. Not only did they get a new fanbase,but everyone from Rolling Stone is calling this one of the best Metal albums of 2013. This has gotten them so big. I have to buy tickets in advanced now to see them. Someone entered their name on the Grammy Ballot list. The randomest people love Deafheaven now. And they deserve it. Why? Because Deafheaven changed my fucking life with Roads Of Judah and now its your turn. The beauty of this fucking album is unbelievable. Walking home with anger and hate and hearing this is just powerful. All the emotion this album has is strong. Kerry’s beautiful riffs with George Clarke’s BM vocals and touching lyrics make it the perfect album to die to. I want his played at my funeral. Live.I can go on and on on how perfect this album was. Last year I knew this album was going to be perfect. And it was.
05 Fuck Em :bowdown:
I might have to give Wolf a few more spins. I'm a big OF fan but Wolf just didn't grab me for some reason. I was probably in Clutch mode at the time.
I need to move to Cali. Mentors and Murder Junkies at the same show. Pure debauchery even with it being the 2.0 versions...
[FONT="Arial Black"][SIZE="5"]Top 10 EP's[/SIZE][/FONT]
[B]10. Dirty Mike and the Boys - Soup Kitchen[/B]
Dirty Mike (from Gravehill fame) started a Punk/Hardcore/Crossover band for when heís not covered in blood. I wanna say a nice ol mix of GG Allin,Discharge,DRI,and the Mentors. Silly offensive Punk Thrash for your mama. Great shit. Already dudes from Exhumed are wearing their shirts. Long live Shock Rock.
[B]9. Soul Search - Nothing But A Nightmare[/B]
So Cal HxC at itís finest. Pissed off shit that will have throwing punches in the air and what not. Revelation records recently signed these dudes. And judging by this(and their other stuff) you see why theyíd be perfect for em. These guys are already selling out shows here. Soon theyíll be hitting your area more often than usual. Great shit!
[B]8. Condition - Bombed Out[/B]
Making my EP list again this year is Condition. Theyíre from all over the place and it has members of some of my favorites like Trash Talk and DNF. Raw as fuck,Japanese Hardcore worshiping- D-Beats to the fucking max- Punk. Ahhhh this ones dope. Not gonna lie,I liked the 1st one more but this is still the shit. The singer is this tall scary guy with a fro who will fuck your shit up. This is good. But seeing them live is way better.
[B]7. Harmís Way - Blinded[/B]
You like Napalm Death vocals? You like sludgy riffs to windmill to? You like buff dudes in ski masks giving you the best HxC from Chicago? Well here ya go. Harmís Way new EP will have you bench pressing for more.
[B]6. BruceXCampbell - Hail To The King[/B]
BrucexCampbell are a local Los Angeles Grindcore band. Nope no bandwagon shit here. These dues have been Grinding for MANY years now. Many line up changes but now theyíre back on track grinding harder than ever. They released another EP plus a split this year. These guys Grind hard and it really bums me out that they ainít more noticed. BxC is one of my all time fav Grind bands and this crushing EP will make you love em too. Hail To The Bruce!
[B]5. Rotten Sound - Species At War[/B]
Finnish Grinders have done it again. 6 crushing Grind tracks that will leave you naked. That is all.
[B]4. War Master - Blood Dawn[/B]
We all miss Insect Warfare. So hereís the next best thing. Rahi singing for a sick old skool Death Metal Bolt Thrower worshiping band. Four songs for all our headbanging needs. Those vocals tho.
[B]3. Broken Cross - Anti-Human Life[/B]
God damn this shit is weird. Blackened Hardcore for GISM Fans. Well thats the best i can do.
[B]2. Gag - This Punk Shit Is Cool But I Hope Iím Rob Zombie When Iím 28[/B]
Raw punk raw punk raw punk! Lo-Fi raw shit for all your punky needs. Have fun trying to stand still while playing this loud. I heard this the day after they came to town. You have no idea how bummed I was. Donít miss out. Get this. Raw.
[B]1. Puig Destroyer- Puig Destroyer[/B]
The greatest EP I heard this year was Puig Destroyer. Obviously a pun of Pig Destroyer. Dodgers games are boring. I went to one this year and Yasiel Puig was kicking so much ass that it wasnít boring. This band has members of Thrice,Skankiní Pickle,and Curl Up and Die(random huh?) playing Grindcore songs about baseball. I missed the first pressing of this but jumped on the 2nd one right away. I can seriously play this all day. Short,fast,loud,and catchy. Total stage diving music. Now for them to play liveÖ.
[FONT="Arial Black"][SIZE="5"]Top 5 Demo's[/SIZE][/FONT]
[B]5. BAT - Primitive Age[/B]
Total Venom worship. Nasty ugly dirty Speed Metal like you just stole a motorcycle at the bar and are now driving away to do some satanic stuff. Feat Ryan Waste (Municipal Waste/Volture), Felix Grifffin(Former DRI drummer from Dealing With It all the way through Thrash Zone era. Yeah! That guy!),and Nick P. (Dude that left Cannabis Corpse. He did most of the discography). The Waste should break up so Ryan can just do this full time. Cause this is dirty. FFO: Venom,Midnight,Speedwolf
[B]4. Cave State- Demo Tape[/B]
Only local band thatís making my list. Also the only new Powerviolence band that came out this year that matters. And this demo shows why they should be cared abut. Total Crossed Out worship. Feat most of the members of Hoy Pinoy (i miss em :( ). This is some hard shit. Everybody wants them to play their backyards and after listening to this itís totally understandable. FFO: Crossed Out,Crossed Out,Crossed Out
[B]3. Rude - Haunted[/B]
Im really picky when it comes to Death Metal. I honestly only really like Old Skool Death Metal. And luckily Rude totally worships that and brings us this long Demo. Im surprised it ainít an EP. There is hope for Death Metal and here it is! Already doing a tour and opening for big names in the Bay area,I can see these guys getting big in a few years. You miss shit like Possessed,Pestilence,Death,etc? Well here it is. FFO:Pestilence,Death,Morbid Angel
[B]2. ██████ - Demo[/B]
Thatís the bands name. Im not kidding. And this rules. Trve Hipster Black Metal from the Czech Republic. You know the shit that gives you the feelz when you walk home at night hating youíre life but you still have some hope? Yep. that genre. Enough said. FFO: Deafheaven,Ash Borer,Wolves In The Throne Room.
[B]1. Dead Man - The All Too Well Known[/B]
Thereís nothing I love more than Crusty Blackened Death Metal with a sound so raw it sounds like youíre neighbors D-Beat band. The last release the put out was cool,but this one blows it the fuck away. Bay Area Kvlt Punks. I like. If my shitty band ever gets going weíre ripping these guys off. Long live the Dead Man. FFO: Idk how to compare em.
I'm listening to Rude right now. Already lovingit.
Tyler, the Creator wins album cover if the year.
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