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zgodt
12-08-2007, 09:27 PM
Write a paragraph about yourself in which you use all of the following words at least once:

offers
click
instances
order
flash
Santa
time
books
Bruce Wayne
tape

zgodt
12-08-2007, 09:38 PM
I've spent a season struggling to keep my gutters attached to the house with duct tape. I got a flash drive to back-up the crucial files from my computer, and store it on top of the computer -- a great plan in case of fire, say. I get choked up over movies about believing in Santa. I think getting old is turning me into a pussy. Well fuck you, time! Like everyone, I have spam boxes full of curiously worded offers from Megadik. I don't click the links. After reading The Watchmen, it's impossible to put much stock in a guy like Bruce Wayne. I think life occurs in isolated instances. I try not to order too many of my books online, to help prevent the local indie shops from going belly up.

SomewhereInTime72
12-08-2007, 09:58 PM
There are instances in my life that are marked by, one might say, a flash of brilliance, others by sheer sadness and stupidity. One time, and I cant say for sure what makes this relevant or why I'm about to switch tense, a guy on the streets asks me and a few friends for some money, but then offers to tell us jokes and if we don't laugh, we don't give him money. That was interesting. I was Christmas shopping today, but I'm still not totally sure what my full gift will be for this Secret Santa thing I'm doing with a few friends. I was about to click submit reply just now, when I realized that I haven't finished everything yet. I like to read a lot, but I'm also a bit of an OCD-ish guy, so I have to read all my books in an order that doesn't quite make sense, but is nevertheless an order. I have two Emerson, Lake & Palmer tapes on my desk right now, but can't listen to them because I'm listening to music from my laptop, but I really want to give them a shot. Iceman could kick Bruce Wayne's ass.

zgodt
12-08-2007, 10:04 PM
Well done. :)

Div
12-08-2007, 10:32 PM
It wasn't always like this, my life.

There was a time when I thought I had it all, I felt like king of the fuckin' world. But times change, and so do people. I've seen it all in my 30 years on the force, a dectective for New York's finest. I recall plenty of instances where I shoulda been killed, but there's only so many times you can see your life flash before your eyes before it gets old. After awhile trying to uphold law and order just loses it's appeal, especially when you find out noone else is doing things by the books. Why should I try so hard to be the good guy, I mean who am I, Bruce fuckin' Wayne? Sometimes you just gotta take what life offers you. Figures the one time I take a little from the pot I get busted, and how it all works out perfectly for the other schmucks. They had their scapegoat. I just finished watching an old christmas tape where I dressed up as santa for my kid, but he was taken away from me too. Margret, that bitch. It's just me now, a bottle of whiskey, my sidearm and this empty apartment. Maybe I should have a go at some russian roulette, what else have I got to lose, right?

*click*

zgodt
12-08-2007, 10:42 PM
:party:

SomewhereInTime72
12-08-2007, 10:50 PM
:lol: :lol:

DethMaiden
12-09-2007, 08:21 AM
I won't deny it: I'm hopelessly addicted to Bruce Wayne. Maybe it was my joy at the time he played Santa in that failed DC: Holiday Edition series, or the fact that the only friends I had in grade school were my comic books. I distinctly recall having my father order rare issues from the local comic shop, only to never read them for fear that it would deface their value. Flash forward fifteen years, and things haven't really changed that much. I get e-mail offers for rare vinyl from nerdy metal emporium websites, and I click away. Sure, there have been instances when I have fondly remembered my life as a Batman nut, but I have some of those birthday parties on tape, and I don't want to be that person again.

Angelripper
12-09-2007, 02:04 PM
Write a paragraph about yourself in which you use all of the following words at least once:

offers
click
instances
order
flash
Santa
time
books
Bruce Wayne
tape
People always asked me, would I flash Bruce Wayne? In order to do that, I would need incentives, possible gifts, massive offers that I could never turn down? So I decided, why do one normal man, when I can reveal myself to Santa? It was like a light bulb clicked in my head; what an idea! In the instances when I did show my wang to Jolly Ol' St. Nick, I made sure to capture it on tape, and write down his reactions in my erotic books.

floydhunter9
12-10-2007, 12:15 PM
I've gotten offers to do porn. I'd have done it, but none of the scripts would click with me. There were instances when I felt it'd put my life in order, but I'd rather not be fifty years old and have a flash back to my youth when I boned people for a living. There was a strange script I once read that involved Santa and the space time continuum; it's better than all of the books I've ever read, but it required a lot of strange character development. In particular, I'm referring to the Bruce Wayne fetish. I think it'd be strange to play a character with that kind of fetish...but then again, I'm still waiting for that Christian Bale sex tape.

>_>

None of the above is true, in case you didn't catch that.

ADD
12-10-2007, 05:58 PM
Excellent thread. I'm too uncreative to contribute though.

zgodt
12-10-2007, 08:18 PM
Excellent thread.
I agree it's turned out that way. Splendid entries by everyone. :)

I'm too uncreative to contribute though.
Utter poppycock.

JRA
12-10-2007, 08:30 PM
Earlier this year, I was on a cruise in the Mediterranean sea. I was walking along the ship, my own business, when I walked in on Bruce Wayne and Santa Claus having rough sex. It was a rather tall order to try and erase that from my mind, but then the sex tape started circulating all over the internet. Well, maybe not all over, cos I think I was the only one that saw it. :eyes: What? Don't look at me like that, I was just playing those ad games where you click the mouse on a floating object and then you win some type of flashy new car or video game system, and then the next thing I know I see St. Nick giving Batman a very white Christmas! It's instances like this I wish I liked reading books instead of surfing the internet all the goddamn time.

powerslave_85
12-10-2007, 08:43 PM
These days, I have way too much time on my hands. I keep trying to convince myself to get off my ass and read one of the many books I've been putting off with the excuse that I'm too busy with school. Well, I don't have that excuse anymore, that's for sure. It's one of those weird instances where you have absolutely nothing to do, but even doing things for fun seems like too much work. I'm almost broke, and I need to find a job, but in order for that to happen I need to get out there and find one, not just sit back and wait for the offers from major newspapers to fall in my lap. Things don't always just click and fall into place. I mean, Bruce Wayne didn't just wake up one day and suddenly decide to become Batman. A college degree isn't like a roll of duct tape; something that magically fixes everything and makes it easier. If I keep hoping for a flash of inspiration to strike me, I'll never get the fuck out of here. But with this cold and bleak season filled with unseasonable warmth and ironically-worn Santa hats, it's kind of hard to find that kind of motivation, you know?

ADD
12-10-2007, 08:54 PM
Lately I'm big into buying old school heavy metal albums on cassette tape for $2 at Vinyl Solution in San Mateo. Granted for most of these bands their time in the spotlight (or for many I suppose the basement light) has long since past, but I don't care if it's weird that I idolize Bruce Wayne (or was it David Wayne?) from Metal Church while other people my age idolize Soulja Boy, it's fuckin' metal baby. In the rare instances that I receive offers to take part in mainstream teen culture I often decide to sit in my room reading books about heavy metal instead, and maybe order a pizza and spin a Mercyful Fate record too. Then, when I hear that annoying 'click' sound on the first song off Side B from my "Curse Of The Pharaohs" LP, this sudden flash of anger takes over and prompts me to scribble out an angry letter to Santa asking for a new turntable for Christmas. And that's about the extend of the excitement in my life.