View Full Version : Drummer Jokes
es156
08-01-2007, 08:29 PM
What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?
Homeless.
es156
08-01-2007, 08:29 PM
What’s the difference between a drummer and a savings bond?
One will mature and make money.
zgodt
08-01-2007, 08:34 PM
What’s the difference between a drummer and a savings bond?
One will mature and make money.
That one works better as a poet joke. :bawling:
es156
08-01-2007, 08:36 PM
That one works better as a poet joke. :bawling:
Poets are typically immature and broke?
zgodt
08-01-2007, 08:37 PM
Poets are typically immature and broke?
Occasionally they are not immature.
Maiden33
08-01-2007, 08:43 PM
Q: How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 10. One to actually screw in the light bulb and 9 to talk about how much better Neil Peart would've done it.
powerslave_85
08-01-2007, 08:43 PM
Q: How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 10. One to actually screw in the light bulb and 9 to talk about how much better Neil Peart would've done it.
This one could have "typical Metal Setlists member" subsituted for "drummer" and still work pretty well.
Maiden33
08-01-2007, 08:48 PM
This one could have "typical Metal Setlists member" subsituted for "drummer" and still work pretty well.
This is true.
es156
08-01-2007, 08:48 PM
Q: How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 10. One to actually screw in the light bulb and 9 to talk about how much better Neil Peart would've done it.
Well, he would have done it a lot better.
;)
DethMaiden
08-01-2007, 08:49 PM
This one could have "typical Metal Setlists member" subsituted for "drummer" and still work pretty well.
:lol: :lol: :fist:
I don't know any drummer jokes, and a sixty second brainstorm has now also failed me. :snivel:
Maiden33
08-01-2007, 08:54 PM
Q: How do you get a drummer to leave your table at a resturaunt?
A: Give him your dirty dishes.
DethMaiden
08-01-2007, 08:55 PM
Q: How do you get a drummer to leave your table at a resturaunt?
A: Give him your dirty dishes.
Similar to "How do you get a drummer off your porch?" "Pay him for the pizza."
DethMaiden
08-01-2007, 08:56 PM
What do you call a non-drummer holding a pair of drumsticks?
Dave Holland
Maiden33
08-01-2007, 08:58 PM
What do you call a non-drummer holding a pair of drumsticks?
Dave Holland
Nah, better answer was Nick Andreas. The problem is only you, me, and other Jeff understand what that means.
DethMaiden
08-01-2007, 08:59 PM
Nah, better answer was Nick Andreas. The problem is only you, me, and other Jeff understand what that means.
No, that's the punchline to this joke:
What do you call someone who sucks Mike Portnoy's cock?
;)
Maiden33
08-01-2007, 09:01 PM
No, that's the punchline to this joke:
What do you call someone who sucks Mike Portnoy's cock?
;)
Nick would probably have sex with DC Cooper before Portnoy.
DethMaiden
08-01-2007, 09:01 PM
Nick would probably have sex with DC Cooper before Portnoy.
[/way too fucking esoteric]
Why are drummers always losing their watches?
Because everyone knows they have trouble keeping time.
es156
08-01-2007, 09:03 PM
Why are drummers always losing their watches?
Because everyone knows they have trouble keeping time.
You just make that one up?
You just make that one up?
No, I heard it from one of my friends who plays guitar awhile ago.
DethMaiden
08-01-2007, 09:10 PM
How do you know when to fire your drummer?
When he makes his first suggestion.
:eyes: That one sucked, I'm sorry.
ChildrenofSodom
08-02-2007, 06:33 AM
Q: Did you hear about the drummer who got into college?
Neither did I.
Q:Whats the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?
A: You only have to punch the information into a drum machine once.
ChildrenofSodom
08-02-2007, 06:33 AM
I am very offended by all of these.
Q: How do you get two drummers to play in time together?
A: Shoot one of the drummers.
Q: What do you call a guy that hangs out with musicians?
A: The drummer
ChildrenofSodom
08-02-2007, 06:37 AM
Similar to "How do you get a Michigan graduate off your porch?" "Pay him for the pizza."
fixed...lol :usa:
Q: How do you confuse a drummer?
A: Give him a piece of sheet music.
That one is very true...for me at least.
What's worse than 10 dead babies in one trash can?
One dead baby in 10 trash cans!
SomewhereInTime72
08-02-2007, 07:16 AM
Q: Did you hear about the drummer who got into college?
Neither did I.
Q:Whats the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?
A: You only have to punch the information into a drum machine once.
:lol: :lol:
MetalDrummer888
08-02-2007, 07:47 PM
What's worse than 10 dead babies in one trash can?
One dead baby in 10 trash cans!
:party:
powerslave_85
08-02-2007, 08:10 PM
Didn't Nicko used to tell drummer jokes in his tour diaries? I remember this one:
Q: What do you do if a drummer is bleeding on your lawn?
A: Stop laughing and shoot him again.
DethMaiden
08-02-2007, 08:10 PM
Didn't Nicko used to tell drummer jokes in his tour diaries? I remember this one:
Q: What do you do if a drummer is bleeding on your lawn?
A: Stop laughing and shoot him again.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
DethMaiden
08-02-2007, 08:38 PM
What do you call a grave with a dozen dead drummers in it?
A good start.
What do you call a grave with a dozen dead drummers in it?
A good start.
What? No.
DethMaiden
08-02-2007, 08:41 PM
What? No.
Damn you, drumjokes.com! :eyes:
SomewhereInTime72
08-02-2007, 08:43 PM
Why do guitarists put drumsticks on the dash of their car?
So they can park in the handicapped spot.
powerslave_85
08-02-2007, 09:04 PM
Why do guitarists put drumsticks on the dash of their car?
So they can park in the handicapped spot.
Haha, I like that one.
ravenheart
08-03-2007, 12:52 AM
Here's the best drummer joke I can think of:
Meg White.
Here's the best drummer joke I can think of:
Meg White.
LOLOLOLOL
0WNED!
ChildrenofSodom
08-03-2007, 07:09 AM
Keep trying Brad...you'll get one sooner or later.
Why do guitarists put drumsticks on the dash of their car?
So they can park in the handicapped spot.
:party:
MetalDrummer888
08-03-2007, 10:41 AM
Didn't Nicko used to tell drummer jokes in his tour diaries? I remember this one:
Q: What do you do if a drummer is bleeding on your lawn?
A: Stop laughing and shoot him again.
last time i heard that joke it wasnt a drummer :eyes:
DethMaiden
08-03-2007, 06:17 PM
last time i heard that joke it wasnt a drummer :eyes:
Yeah, I was gonna say, isn't that traditionally a racist joke? :eyes: