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es156
08-01-2007, 09:29 PM
What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?


Homeless.

es156
08-01-2007, 09:29 PM
What’s the difference between a drummer and a savings bond?



One will mature and make money.

zgodt
08-01-2007, 09:34 PM
What’s the difference between a drummer and a savings bond?



One will mature and make money.

That one works better as a poet joke. :bawling:

es156
08-01-2007, 09:36 PM
That one works better as a poet joke. :bawling:

Poets are typically immature and broke?

zgodt
08-01-2007, 09:37 PM
Poets are typically immature and broke?

Occasionally they are not immature.

Maiden33
08-01-2007, 09:43 PM
Q: How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: 10. One to actually screw in the light bulb and 9 to talk about how much better Neil Peart would've done it.

powerslave_85
08-01-2007, 09:43 PM
Q: How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: 10. One to actually screw in the light bulb and 9 to talk about how much better Neil Peart would've done it.
This one could have "typical Metal Setlists member" subsituted for "drummer" and still work pretty well.

Maiden33
08-01-2007, 09:48 PM
This one could have "typical Metal Setlists member" subsituted for "drummer" and still work pretty well.

This is true.

es156
08-01-2007, 09:48 PM
Q: How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: 10. One to actually screw in the light bulb and 9 to talk about how much better Neil Peart would've done it.

Well, he would have done it a lot better.

;)

DethMaiden
08-01-2007, 09:49 PM
This one could have "typical Metal Setlists member" subsituted for "drummer" and still work pretty well.

:lol: :lol: :fist:


I don't know any drummer jokes, and a sixty second brainstorm has now also failed me. :snivel:

Maiden33
08-01-2007, 09:54 PM
Q: How do you get a drummer to leave your table at a resturaunt?

A: Give him your dirty dishes.

DethMaiden
08-01-2007, 09:55 PM
Q: How do you get a drummer to leave your table at a resturaunt?

A: Give him your dirty dishes.

Similar to "How do you get a drummer off your porch?" "Pay him for the pizza."

DethMaiden
08-01-2007, 09:56 PM
What do you call a non-drummer holding a pair of drumsticks?


Dave Holland

Maiden33
08-01-2007, 09:58 PM
What do you call a non-drummer holding a pair of drumsticks?


Dave Holland

Nah, better answer was Nick Andreas. The problem is only you, me, and other Jeff understand what that means.

DethMaiden
08-01-2007, 09:59 PM
Nah, better answer was Nick Andreas. The problem is only you, me, and other Jeff understand what that means.

No, that's the punchline to this joke:

What do you call someone who sucks Mike Portnoy's cock?

;)

Maiden33
08-01-2007, 10:01 PM
No, that's the punchline to this joke:

What do you call someone who sucks Mike Portnoy's cock?

;)

Nick would probably have sex with DC Cooper before Portnoy.

DethMaiden
08-01-2007, 10:01 PM
Nick would probably have sex with DC Cooper before Portnoy.

[/way too fucking esoteric]

Div
08-01-2007, 10:02 PM
Why are drummers always losing their watches?

Because everyone knows they have trouble keeping time.

es156
08-01-2007, 10:03 PM
Why are drummers always losing their watches?

Because everyone knows they have trouble keeping time.

You just make that one up?

Div
08-01-2007, 10:04 PM
You just make that one up?


No, I heard it from one of my friends who plays guitar awhile ago.

DethMaiden
08-01-2007, 10:10 PM
How do you know when to fire your drummer?

When he makes his first suggestion.


:eyes: That one sucked, I'm sorry.

ChildrenofSodom
08-02-2007, 07:33 AM
Q: Did you hear about the drummer who got into college?

Neither did I.


Q:Whats the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?
A: You only have to punch the information into a drum machine once.

ChildrenofSodom
08-02-2007, 07:33 AM
I am very offended by all of these.

Q: How do you get two drummers to play in time together?
A: Shoot one of the drummers.

Q: What do you call a guy that hangs out with musicians?
A: The drummer

ChildrenofSodom
08-02-2007, 07:37 AM
Similar to "How do you get a Michigan graduate off your porch?" "Pay him for the pizza."

fixed...lol :usa:

Q: How do you confuse a drummer?
A: Give him a piece of sheet music.

That one is very true...for me at least.

JRA
08-02-2007, 08:08 AM
What's worse than 10 dead babies in one trash can?

One dead baby in 10 trash cans!

SomewhereInTime72
08-02-2007, 08:16 AM
Q: Did you hear about the drummer who got into college?

Neither did I.


Q:Whats the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?
A: You only have to punch the information into a drum machine once.

:lol: :lol:

MetalDrummer888
08-02-2007, 08:47 PM
What's worse than 10 dead babies in one trash can?

One dead baby in 10 trash cans!

:party:

powerslave_85
08-02-2007, 09:10 PM
Didn't Nicko used to tell drummer jokes in his tour diaries? I remember this one:
Q: What do you do if a drummer is bleeding on your lawn?
A: Stop laughing and shoot him again.

DethMaiden
08-02-2007, 09:10 PM
Didn't Nicko used to tell drummer jokes in his tour diaries? I remember this one:
Q: What do you do if a drummer is bleeding on your lawn?
A: Stop laughing and shoot him again.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

DethMaiden
08-02-2007, 09:38 PM
What do you call a grave with a dozen dead drummers in it?

A good start.

JRA
08-02-2007, 09:39 PM
What do you call a grave with a dozen dead drummers in it?

A good start.

What? No.

DethMaiden
08-02-2007, 09:41 PM
What? No.

Damn you, drumjokes.com! :eyes:

SomewhereInTime72
08-02-2007, 09:43 PM
Why do guitarists put drumsticks on the dash of their car?



So they can park in the handicapped spot.

powerslave_85
08-02-2007, 10:04 PM
Why do guitarists put drumsticks on the dash of their car?



So they can park in the handicapped spot.
Haha, I like that one.

ravenheart
08-03-2007, 01:52 AM
Here's the best drummer joke I can think of:

Meg White.

JRA
08-03-2007, 06:38 AM
Here's the best drummer joke I can think of:

Meg White.

LOLOLOLOL

0WNED!

ChildrenofSodom
08-03-2007, 08:09 AM
Keep trying Brad...you'll get one sooner or later.

ADD
08-03-2007, 10:55 AM
Why do guitarists put drumsticks on the dash of their car?



So they can park in the handicapped spot.
:party:

MetalDrummer888
08-03-2007, 11:41 AM
Didn't Nicko used to tell drummer jokes in his tour diaries? I remember this one:
Q: What do you do if a drummer is bleeding on your lawn?
A: Stop laughing and shoot him again.

last time i heard that joke it wasnt a drummer :eyes:

DethMaiden
08-03-2007, 07:17 PM
last time i heard that joke it wasnt a drummer :eyes:

Yeah, I was gonna say, isn't that traditionally a racist joke? :eyes: