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View Full Version : The Official stand up Comedian Discussion Thread


JRA
03-24-2007, 09:30 PM
In an effort to put some real activity back into this board...


The two stand up comics I've been watching alot of lately are George Carlin and Bill Hicks.

I've always like Carlin, though his material nowadays is getting a bit depressing (and annoying).

As for Hicks, I have a love-hate relationship with him. When he talks about non-smokers and Rush Limbaugh, he is on fuckin point. But when he's talking about music and being a self righteous prick he has his head up his ass.

I should also mention Lewis Black kicks all sorts of ass.

powerslave_85
03-24-2007, 10:17 PM
Bill Hicks was a genius. These are some of my favorites:

Lewis Black
Demitri Martin
Daniel Tosh
Jim Gaffigan
Brian Posehn
Sarah Silverman
Maria Bamford
Patton Oswald
Nick Swardson
Dave Chappelle
Zack Galifianakis
Mitch Hedberg
Louis CK
Greg Proops

DethMaiden
03-25-2007, 05:18 AM
Mitch Hedberg > All.

ChildrenofSodom
03-25-2007, 06:48 AM
Brian Posehn, Dave Chappelle, Jim Gaffigan, Demitri Martin, Patton Oswald, people like that.

sylpriest
03-25-2007, 07:00 AM
At my school news I read the announcements like Lewis Black :D

JRA
03-25-2007, 07:27 AM
Lewis Black
Demitri Martin
Daniel Tosh
Jim Gaffigan
Brian Posehn
Sarah Silverman
Maria Bamford
Patton Oswald
Nick Swardson
Dave Chappelle
Zack Galifianakis
Mitch Hedberg
Louis CK
Greg Proops


Dave Chapelle: OK, but I liked the show better.

Sarah Silverman does stand up?

Most of the other guys I've never heard of.

Div
03-25-2007, 10:47 AM
If anyone says Dane Cook then you deserve an ass kicking.


I forget his name, but I saw this one guy on Comedy Central who was like some shitty magician/stand up guy. Thought he was pretty funny. Oh yea, and lets not forget the master, Dennis Leary.

JRA
03-25-2007, 11:03 AM
If anyone says Dane Cook then you deserve an ass kicking.



:lol:

SirLardsAlot
03-25-2007, 11:45 AM
Bill Hicks was a genius. These are some of my favorites:

Lewis Black
Demitri Martin
Daniel Tosh
Jim Gaffigan
Brian Posehn
Sarah Silverman
Maria Bamford
Patton Oswald
Nick Swardson
Dave Chappelle
Zack Galifianakis
Mitch Hedberg
Louis CK
Greg Proops:tp: @ this list.

:tp: :tp: :tp: :tp: @ Sarah Silverman.

SirLardsAlot
03-25-2007, 11:46 AM
If anyone says Dane Cook then you deserve an ass kicking.


Agreed. "OMG someone shit on the coats LOLOLOLOLOL im rich now!"




BTW stand up comedy sucks.

SomewhereInTime72
03-25-2007, 12:11 PM
BTW stand up comedy sucks.

:eek: :nonono:

Spiral_Slave
03-25-2007, 12:14 PM
Lisa Lampanelli. Saw her live, it was hilarious.

powerslave_85
03-25-2007, 01:54 PM
If anyone says Dane Cook then you deserve an ass kicking.


I forget his name, but I saw this one guy on Comedy Central who was like some shitty magician/stand up guy. Thought he was pretty funny. Oh yea, and lets not forget the master, Dennis Leary.
Leary stole half his act from Bill Hicks. In the words of Hicks himself: "I have a scoop for you. I stole his act. I camouflaged it with punchlines, and to really throw people off, I did it before he did."

Div
03-25-2007, 05:24 PM
Leary stole half his act from Bill Hicks. In the words of Hicks himself: "I have a scoop for you. I stole his act. I camouflaged it with punchlines, and to really throw people off, I did it before he did."


:lol: didn't know that, I haven't heard much of Hicks stuff. I just remember laughing my ass off when I saw No Cure For Cancer.

ChildrenofSodom
03-25-2007, 05:56 PM
Carlos Mencia sucks balls

JRA
03-25-2007, 06:51 PM
Leary stole half his act from Bill Hicks. In the words of Hicks himself: "I have a scoop for you. I stole his act. I camouflaged it with punchlines, and to really throw people off, I did it before he did."

I would have to agree. Especially after hearing No Cure for Cancer.

zgodt
03-26-2007, 05:47 AM
Leary stole half his act from Bill Hicks. In the words of Hicks himself: "I have a scoop for you. I stole his act. I camouflaged it with punchlines, and to really throw people off, I did it before he did."

Nice quote. :) I used to love Dennis Leary, but I heard him before I heard Bill Hicks. Someone on another board I frequent posted this breakdown:



Bill Hicks:We live in a world where John Lennon is murdered, yet Barry Manilow continues to make albums...if you're gonna kill someone, have some *beep* taste. I'll drive you to Kenny Rogers' house.

Denis Leary: We live in a country where John Lennon takes six bullets to the chest, Yoko Ono is standing right next to him, not one *beep* bullet....bring me the head of Barry Manilow, I want to drink beer out of his empty head, I wanna have a Barry Manilow skull-keg party at my apartment.

-

Bill Hicks: You know the story about the two kids that were big fans of this group Judas Priest, and they committed suicide, and the parents of the kids sued the band? First of all, two kids, big fans of Judas Priest, commit suicide. Wow. Two less gas-station attendants in the world. What, I don't mean to sound cruel here, but I don't think we lost a cancer cure. They weren't that important. "Bill, you sound so cruel," *beep* them, they were idiots, get it?

Denis Leary: Judas Priest on trial because kids commit suicide, what is that about?...Heavy metal fans are buying heavy metal albums, listening to the albums, then blowing their heads off with shotguns. Where's the problem? That's an unemployment solution right there folks, it's called natural selection...I say we put more messages on the albums, kill the band, then your parents, then yourself.

-

Bill Hicks: Remember Jim Fix, that health-nut who died while jogging? Used to write BOOKS about jogging...what do you jot down about jogging? "Left foot, right foot, hemorage." *beep* Jim...we're gonna need a happier ending, buddy. Heart-attack while jogging, that's heavy *beep* I'm glad I stayed inside instead of jogging. I was too busy smoking.

Denis Leary: Remember Jim Fix, the big famous jogging guy? Did a jogging book, did a jogging video, and dropped dead of a massive heart attack WHEN? When he was *beep* jogging, that's when...it's always the yogurt, sprout-eating *beep* get run over by a bus driven by a guy who smokes three and a half packs a day. "Sorry officer I didn't see him, I was too busy smoking."

-

Bill Hicks: I'm a heavy smoker, I go through about two lighters a day. I lost track of the packs, all that math.

Denis Leary: I love to smoke. I smoke seven thousand packs a day...

-

Bill Hicks: (on nonsmokers) Bunch of whining *beep* maggots.

Denis Leary: (on depressed celebs) Whining *beep* maggots.

-

Bill Hicks: Nonsmokers say the stupidest things. "What about second-hand smoke? It's not just the smoke that you smoke, but the smoke that comes out of you, that's called secondary-smoke. That's not good smoke just cause it came out of you." Shut the *beep* up, right now. Dammit, if I dont smoke, there's gonna be secondary BULLETS coming your way.

Denis Leary: ...you got all these little facts that you dig out of a newspaper or a pamphlet somewhere, and you store that little nugget in your little *beep* head, and you see us light up and you spew 'em out at us, dont you? (Delivered exactly like Hicks portrayed a nonsmoker): "Well you know, smokin...takes ten years off your life!"

-

Bill Hicks: MC Hammer, there was another boat that left me on the island. "You wanna get on the Hammer boat with us?" No thanks, I'd rather stay here and eat my own flesh. You could sit and explain it to me from now until the end of time, and I'll go, *beep* don't get it, man."

Denis Leary: ...explain it to me, I missed the *beep* point some place, the boat left and I wasn't on the boat.

-

Bill Hicks: Everybody, this is your captain speaking. I've got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is, we're going to crash. The good news is, there's enough time to smoke a cigarette before we do.

Denis Leary: Folks, this is your captain speaking, look uhh, light 'em up, cuz we're going down. I got a carton of Camel non-filters, I'll see you on the ground.

Div
03-26-2007, 07:59 AM
Wow, I never realized his act was such a sham.

jaysadler2
03-26-2007, 08:10 AM
ROY CHUBBY BROWN! :D

XxRyaNxX
03-26-2007, 02:01 PM
Larry the Cable Guy, Jeff Foxworthy:rocker:

Redneck comedy FTW

powerslave_85
03-26-2007, 03:05 PM
Larry the Cable Guy, Jeff Foxworthy:rocker:

Redneck comedy FTW
Oh dear god :hecho: :barf:

JRA
03-26-2007, 03:10 PM
Oh dear god :hecho: :barf:

You might be a Redneck, if you think Larry The Cable Guy is funny.:D

powerslave_85
03-26-2007, 03:23 PM
You might be a complete fucking moron, if you think Larry The Cable Guy is funny.:D
Fixed. The only person who's a bigger phony than "Larry" is Carlos Mencia. Oh, I'm sorry: Ned Holness.

JRA
03-26-2007, 03:25 PM
Fixed. The only person who's a bigger phony than "Larry" is Carlos Mencia. Oh, I'm sorry: Ned Holness.

I gotta say though, Jeff Foxworthy was entertaining for about 20 minutes.

powerslave_85
03-26-2007, 03:29 PM
I gotta say though, Jeff Foxworthy was entertaining for about 20 minutes.
I'll admit that Ron White can be pretty funny. But that's about it.

JRA
03-26-2007, 03:31 PM
I'll admit that Ron White can be pretty funny. But that's about it.

"Diamonds...that'll shut her up!" :D

powerslave_85
03-26-2007, 03:32 PM
"Diamonds...that'll shut her up!" :D
I think his best bit is when he's talking about his snobby brother-in-law. He talks about buying a really fancy RV, and the brother-in-law chides him for not buying a Mercedes instead. His reply: "Yeah, well, this one has a bed where I can fuck your sister." :lol:

JRA
03-26-2007, 03:34 PM
I think his best bit is when he's talking about his snobby brother-in-law. He talks about buying a really fancy RV, and the brother-in-law chides him for not buying a Mercedes instead. His reply: "Yeah, well, this one has a bed where I can fuck your sister." :lol:

:lol: That's ok, I don't pay that much attention to Ron White's material though.

JRA
03-26-2007, 03:35 PM
Ned Holness.



By the way, I looked him up on Wikipedia, it turns out his mother's last name was Mencia, and she didn't want him to go by his father's surname (his birth certificate actually says Ned Mencia), but he went by Holness anyway until he was eighteen out of respect.

Not that I'm defending him or anything.:eyes:

DethMaiden
03-26-2007, 04:13 PM
I can't believe no one has worshiped Mitch Hedberg yet. :mad:

JRA
03-26-2007, 04:16 PM
Here's a bunch of Bill Hicks video clips from youtube. (FYI, the fourth one down is kinda where my new sig came from).

http://www.yesbutnobutyes.com/archives/2007/03/lunch_hour_veg_115.html

ChildrenofSodom
03-28-2007, 08:02 PM
Read this joke on another board..

Son ask's Dad the difference between theoretically and realistically.
Dad said "That's hard but I have an idea! Ask mum if she would sleep with the the milkman for £1million quid."

Mum said YES.

Dad said "Ask your sister if she'll sleep with the coalman for £2million quid."

Sister said YES.

"Well there son, that's your answer; theoretically we're sitting on £3million quid, but realistically we're just living with 2 fuckin slag's"

JRA
03-28-2007, 08:07 PM
Read this joke on another board..

Son ask's Dad the difference between theoretically and realistically.
Dad said "That's hard but I have an idea! Ask mum if she would sleep with the the milkman for 1million quid."

Mum said YES.

Dad said "Ask your sister if she'll sleep with the coalman for 2million quid."

Sister said YES.

"Well there son, that's your answer; theoretically we're sitting on 3million quid, but realistically we're just living with 2 fuckin slag's"

Cute. I've heard better.

DethMaiden
07-12-2007, 11:56 AM
Gonna go ahead and revive this because I've been watching a lot of stand up this summer. My list would look something like this now:

Mitch Hedberg
Daniel Tosh
Jim Gaffigan
Jerry Seinfeld
Brian Posehn

Yeah, something like that :fist:

EDIT: Jon Stewart isn't really stand up but he transcends all other comedians in my book.

ChildrenofSodom
07-12-2007, 01:05 PM
I watched Jim Gaffigans 2000 stand up special today....pure gold.

DethMaiden
07-12-2007, 04:23 PM
I watched Jim Gaffigans 2000 stand up special today....pure gold.

:lol: I saw that too man. Amazing.

DreamEvil001
07-13-2007, 07:25 AM
Gonna go ahead and revive this because I've been watching a lot of stand up this summer. My list would look something like this now:

Mitch Hedberg
Daniel Tosh
Jim Gaffigan
Jerry Seinfeld
Brian Posehn

Yeah, something like that :fist:

EDIT: Jon Stewart isn't really stand up but he transcends all other comedians in my book.

Mitch Hedberg is hilarious, i'm not a big fan of gaffigan, and I think Seinfeld blows doing standup, but the show is amazing. Jon Stewart is also great, as is Colbert. For StandUp I also like Russell Peters, Pablo Francisco, Carlos Mencia, Foxworthy, Robin Williams, Wanda Sykes

ChildrenofSodom
07-13-2007, 07:52 AM
I probably said this earlier in this thread, but I thought I would reiterate; Carlos Mencia is not funny. His entire show is based on a straw-man argument. Every episode he walks out.."People always say 'Carlos, you can't say that. Thats racist'" WHAT? I have never heard anyone say that he cant say what he says..I havent seen any media outcry. You know why? Because he is hispanic. Its kinda funny that a white guy addressing race is racist, but a hispanic addressing race is supposed to be hilarious, or society just ignores it. I am not trying to rant about race, but if you are going to form your stand-up around one single theme, at least make it funny. His entire routine is based on the assumption that you are going to find him offensive/edgy. I find him to be idiotic.

ravenheart
07-13-2007, 08:00 AM
It's quite annoying that more comedians don't "make it" internationally. I no very few of the ones in people's lists here.

However, my own list:

Dennis Leary
Bill Bailey
Ed Byrne
Simon Evans
David Fulton
Rich Hall
Dave Chappelle

Can't think of any more that I think are really great...

Spiral_Slave
07-13-2007, 09:07 AM
I've said it before, and I'll say it again, Lisa Lampanelli!!!

ravenheart
07-13-2007, 03:38 PM
I've said it before, and I'll say it again, Lisa Lampanelli!!!

Dude, no. Just not funny. Annoying, yes. But not funny.

Blitzkrieg Witchcraft
07-13-2007, 06:39 PM
George Carlin :bowdown: (although I agree that his routine is more rant than comedy these days.)
Chris Rock
Dave Attell
Dave Chappelle

powerslave_85
07-13-2007, 06:46 PM
George Carlin :bowdown: (although I agree that his routine is more rant than comedy these days.)Yeah, sometimes that's okay though. Bill Hicks was the same way.

Blitzkrieg Witchcraft
07-13-2007, 06:53 PM
Yeah, sometimes that's okay though. Bill Hicks was the same way.

He (Carlin) seems to be getting worse in his older age. He's still a legend though.

Div
07-13-2007, 11:24 PM
He'll always be Mr. Conductor to me :(

JRA
07-16-2007, 01:01 PM
He'll always be Mr. Conductor to me :(

I was shocked when I found that out. I was like "They let Mr. Seven-words-you-can't-say-on-TV on Thomas the Tank Engine?"

JRA
07-16-2007, 01:03 PM
He (Carlin) seems to be getting worse in his older age. He's still a legend though.

Agreed. "Life is Worth Losing" was about 90% garbage (and I think there's a couple of swiped old Hicks routines in there too).

JRA
07-16-2007, 01:33 PM
I just watched a couple of Mitch Hedberg clips. He's ok I guess, but he seems a bit corny sometimes.

DethMaiden
07-16-2007, 06:40 PM
He'll always be Mr. Conductor to me :(

That was him! Oh my God!

ravenheart
07-17-2007, 02:30 AM
Isn't it great when America make their own versions of our stuff? :tp:

"Mr Conductor" bollocks. The character was called The Fat Controller (real name Sir Topham Hatt, apparently, although I only just found that out) and was voiced by Ringo Starr.

Why can't you just leave things along and show the real versions Goddamnit! ;)

Spiral_Slave
07-17-2007, 05:01 AM
I went to a comedy club the other night and saw Ralphie May. Pretty funny.

DethMaiden
07-17-2007, 06:37 AM
I went to a comedy club the other night and saw Ralphie May. Pretty funny.

:lol: I loved his Comedy Central special.

"If I had a heart attack and died, you might be sad, but you wouldn't be shocked. 'Eh, he's a fat bastard, that's what they do. They have heart attacks and they die.'"

powerslave_85
07-17-2007, 04:51 PM
Ugh, Ralphie May is terrible.

Spiral_Slave
07-17-2007, 05:04 PM
:lol: I loved his Comedy Central special.

"If I had a heart attack and died, you might be sad, but you wouldn't be shocked. 'Eh, he's a fat bastard, that's what they do. They have heart attacks and they die.'"

He was talking about how someone tried to give him cocaine, and he was like: " Do you know what would happen if I did cocaine? My heart would be like ' BITCH ARE YOU CRAZY?! DO YOU KNOW HARD IT IS PUMPING BLOOD FOR YOUR FAT ASS?! '

The Rover
10-29-2007, 05:10 PM
Dave Chapelle: OK, but I liked the show better.



YES ! His "BLACK BUSH" is Hilarious ! ! ! !

This guy is very funny:

Brian Regan (http://www.brianregan.com/index.html) :D

JRA
10-29-2007, 05:54 PM
YES ! His "BLACK BUSH" is Hilarious ! ! ! !

This guy is very funny:

Brian Regan (http://www.brianregan.com/index.html) :D

"Red Rocks!"

(off screen) YOIY YOIY!