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View Full Version : IWRESTLEDABEARONCE are now...black metal?


bt11763
05-17-2011, 11:13 AM
from MetalSucks (http://www.metalsucks.net/2011/05/17/exclusive-black-metal-just-got-gay-iwrestledabear-once-change-genres/):

The answers you guys have sent in for last week’s Completely Unreadable Band Logo contest have been hilarious, and not just because some of you thought the answer was Warg, War, or Swarm. Here are a few sample responses I’d like to share with you:

“Okay so this looks like IWABO. Alternative logo? Completely wrong answer? WTF?”
-Andrew Hardman

“Iwrestledabearonce went black metal? WTF.”
-Jonathan Voynar

“It’s I Wrestled a Bear Once’s new black metal logo.”
-Andrew Robbins

“BLACK METAL JUST GOT GAY.”
-Kuranes

Well, guess what? The answer WAS Iwrestledabearonce. And they are, in fact, a black metal band now.

Yep. IWABO are completely changing their sound.

Don’t believe me? Check out this new band pic:

http://www.metalsucks.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/E2J0099.jpg

Here’s a statement from guitarist Steven Bradley regarding the decision to abandon the band’s old sound:

“We were sick of getting lumped in with ‘scene’ and ‘whatever-core’ bands, so we decided to embrace our roots and just go straight black metal on the new album. I’d say 90% of the new record is straight-up black metal, so we had to change our image to match… Because of course that’s just as important, if not more so, than the music.”

Now, I haven’t spoken to Bradley about this decision, but I think he’s being mostly ironic in this statement. The truth is, IWABO have been known up until now for a brand of schizophrenic metal that encompasses all genres — in fact, black metal may be the only style of extreme music that wasn’t accounted for on their Century Media debut, It’s All Happening — and having pretty demonstrated that there’s very little they can’t do, I think the band basically got bored, and has consequently now turned their attention towards a new challenge.

Either or that, or he’s being honest, and IWABO just got sick of you all making fun of them.

In any case, we’ve heard one of the band’s new black metal songs, because we’re debuting it this Thursday — and it’s fucking great. It is as grim and frosty as anything you’ve ever heard. It isn’t black metal in the Cradle of Filth sense, where it’s been watered down and made more easily digestible for the masses; it sounds like fucking Mayhem in their prime. It is troo kvlt shit. And it rocks.

So even if this decision seems kinda weird — which it is — well… I’m not complaining.

IWABO’s inaugural offering as a black metal band will be out later this year on Century Media. In the meantime, like I said, we’re debuting a new song from the album on Thursday — so make sure you get your ass back here to give it a listen.

And we’ll announce the winners for the Unreadable Band Logo competition later this afternoon.

-AR

http://www.metalsucks.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/unreadable_5_10_11.jpg




....hm. Well then.

Natrlhi
05-17-2011, 11:20 AM
Listen - even if this does work out for them - and I'm not saying it will, because this has "bad idea" written all over it - they should have just changed their name as well, because the only thing more laughable than a "whatever-metal" band with a name like iwrestledabearonce is a(n alleged) black metal band named iwrestledabearonce (or "IWABO", either way they decide to spin it, it's just ridiculous as all fuck). :rolleyes:

EDIT: ...and great horny toads, that girl is still homely as fuck. Even corpsepaint can't fix fugly.

girnny777
05-17-2011, 11:44 AM
Hooray, more dumb shit we can all keep ignoring.

RAZOR
05-17-2011, 11:56 AM
I wonder if they realize this is just making it even harder to take them seriously. :snivel:

daimonos
05-17-2011, 12:04 PM
lol

ChildrenofSodom
05-17-2011, 12:06 PM
Is asshatcore a thing? If not, I think they've got the corner on a new genre.

treghet
05-17-2011, 12:12 PM
I really don't know what to say about this.

illuminatus917
05-17-2011, 12:21 PM
I think daimones summed it up nicely.

Natrlhi
05-17-2011, 12:23 PM
I think daimones summed it up nicely.:lol: Yeah, him and Razor.

llama lom
05-17-2011, 12:30 PM
EDIT: ...and great horny toads, that girl is still homely as fuck. Even corpsepaint can't fix fugly.

Wait, there's a girl in there?

I'll listen to the track, laugh, then give my opinion. But this is probably the worst idea any band like them could have.

MPF
05-17-2011, 12:42 PM
Let them try it and watch them fail.


Sorry....I'd still tap her...

JuuKun
05-17-2011, 01:01 PM
So, this isn't a joke then? The entire thing screamed "this isn't serious" to me.

But, uhm...wow, I guess. Hope it doesn't work for them.

jd091
05-17-2011, 01:03 PM
THIS MAKES THE ALLSTARS TOUR SO MUCH MORE KVLT!

But really... I remember reading this logo last week on Metalsucks, and having having no clue what it could be for, since I googled "IWAB", which is all I could make out of the logo, and the only band that popped up was Iwrestledabearonce. I distinctly remember thinking, "there's gotta be some other obscure metal band that fits those initials..."

I guess not.

OraclesofAgony
05-17-2011, 01:07 PM
Listen - even if this does work out for them - and I'm not saying it will, because this has "bad idea" written all over it - they should have just changed their name as well, because the only thing more laughable than a "whatever-metal" band with a name like iwrestledabearonce is a(n alleged) black metal band named iwrestledabearonce (or "IWABO", either way they decide to spin it, it's just ridiculous as all fuck). :rolleyes:

EDIT: ...and great horny toads, that girl is still homely as fuck. Even corpsepaint can't fix fugly.

Seriously, if they were dedicated to making this work they should've came up with a new name altogether. No black metal fan is going to want to listen to this.

llama lom
05-17-2011, 01:09 PM
Seriously, if they were dedicated to making this work they should've came up with a new name altogether. No black metal fan is going to want to listen to this.

If this is serious, I don't think that's what they're going for. I think they're trying to get their fan base to move into this genre, which can only lead to bad things.

elturtleboy
05-17-2011, 01:27 PM
http://gallery.fanserviceftw.com/_images/7c91772bb16b295416693e811d76a5cd/7749%20-%20facepalm%20spiderman%20tagme.jpg

illuminatus917
05-17-2011, 01:34 PM
So, this isn't a joke then? The entire thing screamed "this isn't serious" to me.

But, uhm...wow, I guess. Hope it doesn't work for them.

Don't think we have to worry about that.

Derelict
05-17-2011, 01:52 PM
sawthese guys open for DEP, tried to kill myself at least three times. Singer stage dived and banged her head on the rail, it was hilairous.

evildeadjedi
05-17-2011, 02:07 PM
I believe this is one of the first signs of the apocalypse. :eyes:

Steev
05-17-2011, 02:11 PM
kinda funny actually

orlandodavis
05-17-2011, 02:14 PM
Link is dead. Probably means this is fake. Even funnier than the ffdp one.

Steev
05-17-2011, 02:18 PM
Link is dead. Probably means this is fake. Even funnier than the ffdp one.

this seems more likely

since this band has a sense of humor

llama lom
05-17-2011, 02:47 PM
Link is dead. Probably means this is fake. Even funnier than the ffdp one.

http://www.metalsucks.net/2011/05/17/exclusive-black-metal-just-got-gay-iwrestledabear-once-change-genres/

rjturtle9
05-17-2011, 02:50 PM
sawthese guys open for DEP, tried to kill myself at least three times. Singer stage dived and banged her head on the rail, it was hilairous.

I seriously lol'd!

:lol:

MPF
05-17-2011, 03:47 PM
I think my good friend Tony, former drummer of Anal Blast, and currently in THis Will Not End Well, Invidiosus, Colostomy Bong and other great bands, just posted on their Facebook page:

you guys can release whatever you want, and call yourselves whatever you want, but you can't just take some photos of yourselves in corpse paint and emperor shirts and call yourselves black metal. you guys are scenecore, pop-metal douchebags, and you wouldn't know TRUE underground black metal if it dick slapped you in the face.

and yes, i think you guys suck so much that i even "liked" this page just to shit talk you a bit. sorry that some us actually try to stay true to our roots, instead of "going back to them" AFTER getting famous on a shitty, mainstream record label. enjoy your fame and success, you vultures of music. i think you were better off with the dub-step remixes, anyway.

treghet
05-17-2011, 03:47 PM
This part of the article just left me disgusted.

In any case, we’ve heard one of the band’s new black metal songs, because we’re debuting it this Thursday — and it’s fucking great. It is as grim and frosty as anything you’ve ever heard. It isn’t black metal in the Cradle of Filth sense, where it’s been watered down and made more easily digestible for the masses; it sounds like fucking Mayhem in their prime. It is troo kvlt shit. And it rocks.

Seriously? :tp:

kommie
05-17-2011, 04:05 PM
It is MetalSucks after all...

NecroRob
05-17-2011, 04:14 PM
This kind of blew my mind.

moobys37
05-17-2011, 04:25 PM
Watch this will be the best black metal album to come out this year...

:lol:

MPF
05-17-2011, 04:30 PM
Watch this will be the best black metal album to come out this year...

:lol:

:eek::eek::eek:

moobys37
05-17-2011, 04:48 PM
:eek::eek::eek:

The chances of that happening are as good as Iron Maiden releasing an album of all new material, Anathema performing as a whole band on the upcoming Blackfield tour, and me actually listening to an entire album from these guys combined.

mankvill
05-17-2011, 04:59 PM
No. No no no. Absolutely not. Of course it's a fucking joke. Read their statement, they even say in there that their image is more important than the music. Even a scenester faggot band like IWABO would never admit that. They are just waiting to go "lol got ya u dum fukn metulhedz xD brb ritin new moozik about 4chan memez"

This band never ceases to amaze me with how bereft of intelligence they really all are.

MPF
05-17-2011, 05:05 PM
The chances of that happening are as good as Iron Maiden releasing an album of all new material, Anathema performing as a whole band on the upcoming Blackfield tour, and me actually listening to an entire album from these guys combined.

I see what you did there.

Just just joking about that might actually let it happen.


Manky, if this in does turn out to be real, this is all be your fault. Next thing you know Hairspray will turn goregrind. Wait, what did I just say? FUUUUU... :eyes:

mankvill
05-17-2011, 05:08 PM
I see what you did there.

Just just joking about that might actually let it happen.


Manky, if this in does turn out to be real, this is all be your fault. Next thing you know Hairspray will turn goregrind. Wait, what did I just say? FUUUUU... :eyes:

In all honesty, at least when Bring Me The Hairspray is at their worst, they at least aren't intentionally ironic and self-depreciating.

MPF
05-17-2011, 05:16 PM
In all honesty, at least when Bring Me The Hairspray is at their worst, they at least aren't intentionally ironic and self-depreciating.

That I do gotta agree with. Trying to be ironically funny in a Scene band is fucking annoying.

treghet
05-17-2011, 05:21 PM
No. No no no. Absolutely not. Of course it's a fucking joke. Read their statement, they even say in there that their image is more important than the music. Even a scenester faggot band like IWABO would never admit that. They are just waiting to go "lol got ya u dum fukn metulhedz xD brb ritin new moozik about 4chan memez"

This band never ceases to amaze me with how bereft of intelligence they really all are.

The posts by them on their Facebook sound completely serious, but if it turns out to be a joke, that would be absolutely pathetic.

Edit: Also, :lol:

http://hostthenpost.org/uploads/3bfcb17b9d284daeef61b5f711888159.jpg

hellawaits77ny
05-17-2011, 09:57 PM
Regardless of what they do, they'll always be a joke to me.

BlackmoreOfBowling
05-17-2011, 10:29 PM
The only way this could be made better is if Zakk Wylde contributed a 20 minute guitar solo.

Northern_Shaman
05-17-2011, 10:55 PM
The only way this could be made better is if Zakk Wylde contributed a 20 minute guitar solo.

Oh man that would be incredible! They could maybe even incorporate an underwater level of some sort... With a few escort missions to keep things fresh. Oh! And also impose a time limit, so that there's at least some challenge to it.

jd091
05-18-2011, 12:01 AM
Oh man that would be incredible! They could maybe even incorporate an underwater level of some sort... With a few escort missions to keep things fresh. Oh! And also impose a time limit, so that there's at least some challenge to it.

:lol:

elturtleboy
05-18-2011, 12:44 AM
I think my good friend Tony, former drummer of Anal Blast

The world needs more bands like Anal Blast. But instead we have this shit thats "metal"

MPF
05-18-2011, 02:38 AM
The world needs more bands like Anal Blast. But instead we have this shit thats "metal"

He is the shit! no pun intended. After the whole American Gothic debacle you can read about in the misspelled Marilyn Manson thread. Tony was the guy who took over the drums for This Will Not End Well, and he is a hell of a drummer. We've actually been talking a lot on Facebook lately about the most random shit. Hopefully one of his many bands and Tears OF Ash will be sharing the stage in Minnesota soon.

mastodon421
05-18-2011, 01:57 PM
This is one of the most confusing things I have ever heard.

GarageMetal468
05-19-2011, 11:02 AM
WE ALL GOT TROLLED

http://www.metalsucks.net/2011/05/19/exclusive-track-premiere-iwrestledabearonce-are-ruining-it-for-everybody-show-us-their-karate-nipples/

jd091
05-19-2011, 11:05 AM
"What it does contain is eleven new schizophrenic, experimental, ADHD tracks that are sure to piss off the humorless, elitist tight asses of the world"

http://www.metalsucks.net/2011/05/19/exclusive-track-premiere-iwrestledabearonce-are-ruining-it-for-everybody-show-us-their-karate-nipples/

Couldn't have said it better myself.

treghet
05-19-2011, 11:54 AM
WE ALL GOT TROLLED

http://www.metalsucks.net/2011/05/19/exclusive-track-premiere-iwrestledabearonce-are-ruining-it-for-everybody-show-us-their-karate-nipples/

Cool, now we can go back to pretending they don't exist.

BloodoftheKings
05-19-2011, 11:57 AM
WE ALL GOT TROLLED

http://www.metalsucks.net/2011/05/19/exclusive-track-premiere-iwrestledabearonce-are-ruining-it-for-everybody-show-us-their-karate-nipples/

The non deathcore parts of that song actually weren't bad.

BlackmoreOfBowling
05-19-2011, 12:23 PM
Better than new In Flames.

BloodoftheKings
05-19-2011, 12:29 PM
Better than new In Flames.

Thats not saying much.

MPF
05-19-2011, 01:10 PM
I like the tremolo parts, but then again I'm a sucker for tremolo.

the rest is their typical, hey, were funny shit. No...you're not.

mankvill
05-19-2011, 04:59 PM
IWABO and their fans are immune to any sort of criticism. If you say one negative thing about them, no matter how true it may be, you just get called a super-serious metalhead, to lighten up, etc. etc.

Nevermind the fact that they base everything they do off of how ironic it will be. They say they want their music to be "schizophrenic, experimental, ADHD tracks"? Go take some notes from Dillinger Escape Plan, Converge, Melt-Banana, etc. They don't have to slather themselves in irony and self-deprecating humor to get noticed.

But it doesn't really matter what I say or how I say it. The band and their fans will immediately write me off as being an elitist, being stuck-up, being too serious.

It's a peculiar conundrum.

kommie
05-19-2011, 08:55 PM
considering this band incorporates so many genres badly, I describe them to people as a band that kids go to see to fight invisible ninjas to. cause that's why bands like this exist.