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View Full Version : I'm doing standup tonight.


JRA
06-10-2009, 11:59 AM
Wish me luck. :snivel:

ChildrenofSodom
06-10-2009, 12:02 PM
godluck

DethMaiden
06-10-2009, 12:04 PM
Make an Iron Maiden reference.

SomewhereInTime72
06-10-2009, 12:08 PM
Good luck! And
Make an Iron Maiden reference.

Derelict
06-10-2009, 12:19 PM
thats awesome man, and takes a ton of balls - best of luck

ChildrenofSodom
06-10-2009, 12:27 PM
How about that airline food? Bad, right?

Div
06-10-2009, 12:36 PM
YouTube it

JRA
06-10-2009, 01:33 PM
YouTube it

This might be possible since a friend is going to videotape it.

Make an Iron Maiden reference.

No can do but I will be wearing an Overkill shirt. Is that good enough?

zgodt
06-10-2009, 04:48 PM
Knock 'em dead! :)

JRA
06-10-2009, 06:25 PM
Well I lost. I probably should have mentioned that it was a festival/contest. They say it works like an NCAA bracket and so its in brackets of two. It's like 4 or 5 pairs going up against each other every week.

What kind of sucked was that everybody before me was terrible but the guy in my bracket was really good, so I'm like "Shit I gotta go up against that guy?"

I think I might have been disqualified because I ran overtime but nobody told me if I was and I didn't exactly realize what the signal was until it was too late.

But what really sucks is no, you guys will not be able to see it on youtube because apparently the person I thought was going to video tape it received a mixed message from me whether or not I wanted it taped. Oh well.

And Brad, I substituted Peter North for Ron Jeremy at the last minute cos I didn't think anybody would know who Peter North was.:hmm:

ChildrenofSodom
06-10-2009, 10:39 PM
How did it go over with the crowd? What were some of your jokes?

SomewhereInTime72
06-10-2009, 10:41 PM
Ah, sucks you didn't win. :(

JRA
06-11-2009, 05:48 AM
How did it go over with the crowd? What were some of your jokes?

I suppose I could give you guys a transcript, but I feel part of what I feel makes it funny was the delivery. Of course there could be the fact that my stuff just wasn't funny.

The crowd, well they weren't laughing at key points I was expecting them to laugh. So that sort of brought down my stage confidence so all I could do was soldier on.

EvilCheeseWedge
06-11-2009, 07:41 AM
Sucks you didn't win.

I vote you at least give us a partial transcript ;)

ChildrenofSodom
06-11-2009, 08:02 AM
Second.

JRA
06-11-2009, 08:52 AM
My set in full.

Good evening. I would like to begin by saying I'm a registered sex offender. I went to a Parent Teachers confrence, and I called all the women there a bunch of sheltering, superficial, cunts. Then, I called the men a bunch of child molesting faggots. Clearly, both sexes were offended.

Somebody tell me where a straight bathhouse is. They have a gay bathhouse you know. Bathhouses filled with bulky fine greased up men waiting for other bulky greased up gay men wander in and blow them and pound them in the ass. And alot of you are thinking "But those were only so Gay people could escape from persecution from the outside world." No Anne Frank's attic was an escape from persecution. This is going downtown to Heaven! But no straight bathhouses! And don't tell me that oh the hot girls wouldn't want to participate in that. Girls want cock as much as we do and they want it bad. But the unfortunate part for them is, they are supposed to get the cock the "traditional" way, you can't just go walking onto the straight naked and spreading eagle going, "WHO WANTS TO POUND MY PUSSY?" That will not work After all, no one will fuck a crazy girl. But in a straight bathhouse, all you have to do is check your stuff in the coatroom, and yes bathhouses have coatrooms, go into one of the showers and wait for some overweight hunk of man, to pound you from behind. Cos that's the way you're gonna want it, your not gonna want to look at these disgusting pricks. Or hey, hey, if you like to be in control, that's cool, reverse cowgirl.

if personal hells do in fact, exist, then Hitler is surrounded by Jews right now. In fact, Hitler is probably a Clerk at a 7-11 that's right across the street from a Barmitzfah!
Where did this stereotype come from of Jews haggling prices in fucking retail stores. I have waited in line at cash registers many, many, many times folks. Never saw a Jewish guy trying to buy Skittles for 50 cents instead of a 75 cents. And you know something else, there's no logic to this idea. The Cashier is just gonna say over and over "our prices are set by the coprorate office, and eventually the cashier is just gonna go "fuck this shit" and call security and have him escort his ass out of there. You wanna know why this Jewish Stereotype isn't true, with Gas Prices at $4 a gallon...
...we'd have seen that shit at least, at least, 69 times by now. Absolutely by now.
"You know I could just fly over to Isreal, pick up some oil over there for free, fly back and I still wouldn't have spent that much money."

People are offended by such slang words like "jizz" and "cum," well I'm a little offended by some of the more sophisticated words for these terms. EjaculationWe don't need a syllable for every shot that comes out. Only a doctor would have come up with a word as useless as that. More syllables to make it sound more important than it really is."Well cum might be a little confusing to some people. I mean is Peter North coming into or is he cumming into the room." But jizz, there's no other homophone with that sound. Now I don't know where "he jizzed" came from but jizzed sounds a lot less pretentious than "ejaculate" or "inseminate" or "secretion." Cut the shit and give the releasing of a male seed a vocabulary word that you and I can comprehend.

ChildrenofSodom
06-11-2009, 09:22 AM
wow

ravenheart
06-11-2009, 09:49 AM
You watch a lot of porn, don't you? ;)

SomewhereInTime72
06-11-2009, 10:39 AM
You watch a lot of porn, don't you? ;)

:lol: :lol:

Sex* makes people laugh, it's not his fault that there's more funny shit to say about it than other subjects. ;)

*sex = dicks lets be honest here

b_halperin
06-11-2009, 10:47 AM
Good evening. I would like to begin by saying I'm a registered sex offender.

:lol:

Div
06-11-2009, 11:57 AM
obviously reading it isnt as funny as hearing it, i could see it being pretty funny with the right delivery

JRA
06-11-2009, 01:29 PM
So I just got a letter from the owner,

Joshua--
I wanted to acknowledge that I probably didn't do a very good job with you last night. I never want to discourage anyone from doing stand up, and I've never been anything but positive with anyone on their first try (I understand this was your second).

Having said that, I was pretty appalled at what you were doing. I know writing a set is very difficult, and it is VERY common to be blue when you are starting out. Your set, however, was so vulgar and disgusting (and I think I speak for 90% in attendance) that I honestly could not think of anything positive to say. I did not want to embarrass you by being negative, and I realize saying nothing was just as bad or worse.

You are welcome to come back to the club for an open mic, but your material would need to be pretty much 180 degrees different to do so. And, I'm not in the business of censoring anyone, nor would I expect you to want to be censored. I have never had to have this conversation before, to give you perspective.

In a normal show, you would have walked a high % of my audience and we are certainly not in the business of walking patrons. It is tough enough in this economy to get people out.

Anyway, I'd appreciate your thoughts and I'll talk to you soon.

Thanks, Jared

Ok, so my set sucked. Fortunately, I'm self-deprecating enough to figure that out on my own. However, that does not mean I have to take shit from him.

Here is what I like to send to this cocksucker in response.


Dear Jared

While I will admit that my style is very extreme, I was doing this as a way to exorcise my own demons. People say I'm naturally funny in conversation, and I usually only take it as other people just sugarcoating my flaws. I even had a roommate who kept pestering me to write my stuff down to do standup. Long and at last, I finally gave it a shot. I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting much of a reaction, and I actually practiced with the anticipation of receiving nothing but silence. But still, you have the nerve to say this to me? Fuck you. I wasn't doing this for you, your business, or your contest. I was doing this as an outlet for me.

Guess what, I didn't ask to be in your fucking contest. You did that on your own. I'll take responsibility for my own timing, but you should also take responsibility for screening your own contestants. I more or less figured this out for myself after last weeks contest where you had this old woman do nothing but come up and say she works for public housing*. OK, it was her first time, but that doesn't give her the excuse to not have anything prepared. I also think that alot of the comedians that work for you are garbage, especially that woman who does nothing but ask for people to applaud for her and talk about being Jewish. (and by the way, I am Jewish, or at least I used to be. Which is why one of my bits was "why do people think Jews are penny pinchers")

All I received after asking you to be in open mic night was your bullshit self-promotion. No meeting times, no helpful hints, nothing. I came up to you before the show out of my own responsibility, and I can't say I was surprised that you were frustrated to see me come late, even though you didn't tell me to come early. Your excuse for this is probably "I have a comedy club to run." Well sounds to me like you aren't doing it properly, asshole.

You say my material was offensive enough to make 90% of the club walk out. Not my problem. I see comedy as subjective, and if the Bloomington faithful didn't like it, then I should just roll with the punches and go back to the drawing board. But that does not mean I have to take shit from you.

In conclusion, get the fuck off your high horse, because I am not impressed with your shitbag attitude or your club.

-Joshua



*Last week this old black woman came on stage and basically did a personal ad for herself with no jokes whatsoever. Said she lived in Bloomington, worked for some public housing and if anyone had trouble with mortgages she will raise hell. That got the sympathy laugh. Kinda like the retarded kid saying hell and people thinking it's cute.

Maiden33
06-11-2009, 01:34 PM
I don't know, I can kind of see where the guy is coming from. I myself would've felt incredibly awkward during some of that material.

mankvill
06-11-2009, 01:40 PM
:lol:

fuck 'em

ravenheart
06-11-2009, 02:59 PM
I don't know, I can kind of see where the guy is coming from. I myself would've felt incredibly awkward during some of that material.

I'm not sure I'd felt awkward, as such... but some of it did sound like either a) a porn script or b) an online sex chat.

I think all of your bits could be as funny without being so... extremely worded. That's not to say you should tone down just so you don't offend people (the greatest comics ever offend people, it's part of what makes them funny), but likewise strong language should be necessary, and where it isn't, shouldn't be put in for the sake of it.

Just my view on stand-up in general really, not necessarily you. But therefore, although he worded it very badly, probably because he didn't wait long enough to let himself cool off (probably sat in his office and wrote that out as soon as everyone had left last night), I also see where the guy is coming from.

Reading the bit about bath houses, for instance. As soon as I read "...you can't just go walking onto the straight naked and spreading eagle going, "WHO WANTS TO POUND MY PUSSY?" That will not work After all, no one will fuck a crazy girl." I laughed at the "crazy girl" gag, and thought "surely 'pound my pussy' needn't have been lifted from a cybersex transcript, "form a line boys!" would have worked just as well. I think people missed the funny in some of the bits because their focus is immediately drawn to the phrases like "pound my pussy" and they don't shake that in time to catch the jokes.

I don't mean to add to what probably feels like a string of put-downs and negativity, just trying to offer a bit of perspective as an audience member.

I also don't think you'll do yourself any favours sending your proposed response to him. I've had people send similar to me in the past when my site has published scathing reviews of their music, and trust me, you end up with zero credibility when you resort to responses like that. That dude will know other comedy club guys, word will get around, and when you're starting out surely you can't risk that.

I'm a massive, massive fan of stand-up, particularly your angry "let off steam" types (got a whole stack of Carlin to listen to that I can't wait to get started on), so I totally think you should keep at it. And you don't seem like the kind of dude to let all this stop you anyway :horns:

Maiden33
06-11-2009, 03:01 PM
I'm not sure I'd felt awkward, as such... but some of it did sound like either a) a porn script or b) an online sex chat.

I think all of your bits could be as funny without being so... extremely worded. That's not to say you should tone down just so you don't offend people (the greatest comics ever offend people, it's part of what makes them funny), but likewise strong language should be necessary, and where it is, shouldn't be put in for the sake of it.

Just my view on stand-up in general really, not necessarily you. But therefore, although he worded it very badly, probably because he didn't wait long enough to let himself cool off (probably sat in his office and wrote that out as soon as everyone had left last night), I also see where the guy is coming from.

Reading the bit about bath houses, for instance. As soon as I read "...you can't just go walking onto the straight naked and spreading eagle going, "WHO WANTS TO POUND MY PUSSY?" That will not work After all, no one will fuck a crazy girl." I laughed at the "crazy girl" gag, and thought "surely 'pound my pussy' needed have been lifted from a cybersex transcript, "form a line boys!" would have worked just as well. I think people missed the funny in some of the bits because their focus is immediately drawn to the phrases like "pound my pussy" and they don't shake that in time to catch the jokes.

I don't mean to add to what probably feels like a string of put-downs and negativity, just trying to offer a bit of perspective as an audience member.

I'm a massive, massive fan of stand-up, particularly your angry "let off steam" types (got a whole stack of Carlin to listen to that I can't wait to get started on), so I totally think you should keep at it. And you don't seem like the kind of dude to let all this stop you anyway :horns:

Forget what I said, this is pretty much exactly my point.

b_halperin
06-11-2009, 03:02 PM
I don't know, I can kind of see where the guy is coming from. I myself would've felt incredibly awkward during some of that material.

I concur. In fact, I think that your response letter was quite immature. I agree that nobody should tell you what and what not to say (I'm a total advocate for free speech), but nevertheless, your bit is quite vulgar.

I can't say I know how hard it is to get in front of a crowd, I'm not a comedian, but I can only imagine how nerveracking it gets up there. It obviously sucks to have a shitty set where jokes don't go over, but your retaliation still was less than polite.

ravenheart
06-11-2009, 03:09 PM
Forget what I said, this is pretty much exactly my point.

But with the newly corrected typos, I'd expect ;)

EvilCheeseWedge
06-11-2009, 03:42 PM
Honestly, I think you're both at fault. Sure, he didn't screen, but you had no idea what kind of audience you'd be up against? And yeah, you're doing it as an outlet, but he's doing it to make money... These aren't necessarily incompatible, but... I don't know anything about the club, but for you to get a note like that suggests to me that material likes yours is a rarity at the place. That doesn't mean your stuff is bad. And honestly, this guy seems like he's being very diplomatic. If he was on a high horse, he probably would've said nothing, or would've been far more douchey in what he said.

In my humble opinion, you should just roll with the blows, and not be a dick to the guy whether he was being one to you or not.

ADD
06-11-2009, 03:43 PM
So I just got a letter from the owner,

Joshua--
I wanted to acknowledge that I probably didn't do a very good job with you last night. I never want to discourage anyone from doing stand up, and I've never been anything but positive with anyone on their first try (I understand this was your second).

Having said that, I was pretty appalled at what you were doing. I know writing a set is very difficult, and it is VERY common to be blue when you are starting out. Your set, however, was so vulgar and disgusting (and I think I speak for 90% in attendance) that I honestly could not think of anything positive to say. I did not want to embarrass you by being negative, and I realize saying nothing was just as bad or worse.

You are welcome to come back to the club for an open mic, but your material would need to be pretty much 180 degrees different to do so. And, I'm not in the business of censoring anyone, nor would I expect you to want to be censored. I have never had to have this conversation before, to give you perspective.

In a normal show, you would have walked a high % of my audience and we are certainly not in the business of walking patrons. It is tough enough in this economy to get people out.

Anyway, I'd appreciate your thoughts and I'll talk to you soon.

Thanks, Jared

Ok, so my set sucked. Fortunately, I'm self-deprecating enough to figure that out on my own. However, that does not mean I have to take shit from him.

Here is what I like to send to this cocksucker in response.


Dear Jared

While I will admit that my style is very extreme, I was doing this as a way to exorcise my own demons. People say I'm naturally funny in conversation, and I usually only take it as other people just sugarcoating my flaws. I even had a roommate who kept pestering me to write my stuff down to do standup. Long and at last, I finally gave it a shot. I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting much of a reaction, and I actually practiced with the anticipation of receiving nothing but silence. But still, you have the nerve to say this to me? Fuck you. I wasn't doing this for you, your business, or your contest. I was doing this as an outlet for me.

Guess what, I didn't ask to be in your fucking contest. You did that on your own. I'll take responsibility for my own timing, but you should also take responsibility for screening your own contestants. I more or less figured this out for myself after last weeks contest where you had this old woman do nothing but come up and say she works for public housing*. OK, it was her first time, but that doesn't give her the excuse to not have anything prepared. I also think that alot of the comedians that work for you are garbage, especially that woman who does nothing but ask for people to applaud for her and talk about being Jewish. (and by the way, I am Jewish, or at least I used to be. Which is why one of my bits was "why do people think Jews are penny pinchers")

All I received after asking you to be in open mic night was your bullshit self-promotion. No meeting times, no helpful hints, nothing. I came up to you before the show out of my own responsibility, and I can't say I was surprised that you were frustrated to see me come late, even though you didn't tell me to come early. Your excuse for this is probably "I have a comedy club to run." Well sounds to me like you aren't doing it properly, asshole.

You say my material was offensive enough to make 90% of the club walk out. Not my problem. I see comedy as subjective, and if the Bloomington faithful didn't like it, then I should just roll with the punches and go back to the drawing board. But that does not mean I have to take shit from you.

In conclusion, get the fuck off your high horse, because I am not impressed with your shitbag attitude or your club.

-Joshua



*Last week this old black woman came on stage and basically did a personal ad for herself with no jokes whatsoever. Said she lived in Bloomington, worked for some public housing and if anyone had trouble with mortgages she will raise hell. That got the sympathy laugh. Kinda like the retarded kid saying hell and people thinking it's cute.

:metal:

JRA
06-11-2009, 04:03 PM
I guess the reason why I wrote that letter is because I feel I've been bullied and taken advantage of for so long that, if I'm going to make it stop, I need to push back when I recognize the situation of being pushed.

and Cheese, that is in fact that exact reason why I had my style the way it is. Everybody else is...not clean but the same boring topics over and over again (my girlfriend sucks, who's still in college?, etc.) that I purposely made my material different so I'd stick out.

Well I certainly did, but for the wrong reasons.

EvilCheeseWedge
06-11-2009, 04:17 PM
I guess the reason why I wrote that letter is because I feel I've been bullied and taken advantage of for so long that, if I'm going to make it stop, I need to push back when I recognize the situation of being pushed.

and Cheese, that is in fact that exact reason why I had my style the way it is. Everybody else is...not clean but the same boring topics over and over again (my girlfriend sucks, who's still in college?, etc.) that I purposely made my material different so I'd stick out.

Well I certainly did, but for the wrong reasons.

Yeah, I understand. You gotta do what you gotta do. And fair enough. For what it's worth, I was amused by your material, but I had no idea what kind of club you were playing to ;)

JRA
06-11-2009, 04:21 PM
For what it's worth, I was amused by your material, but I had no idea what kind of club you were playing to ;)

Let me describe this the best that I can, there was a 46 year old guy also competing. One of his bits was about cougars (i.e. younger boys dating older women). One line of this bit was (not verbatim):

"Now Timmy if you put your transformers away and eat all your vegetables, I might take your diaper all the way off."

People laughed at that.

EvilCheeseWedge
06-11-2009, 04:24 PM
Wow...

Fuck that audience.

ChildrenofSodom
06-11-2009, 04:47 PM
My 2 cents:

I respect your reasons for doing what you did, and I thought given the right delivery, I would have laughed too.

The guy, as the owner, should have screened it better, and it was an open mic after all..but he also has a business to run. And if you arent helping his business, he has the right to tell you not to come back.

HOWEVER, if you do comedy for yourself, and you liked it, stick with it. Everyone needs an outlet, but this PG-13 venue was not appropriate for your R-X rated humor. I say stick with it, fuck that guy, and move on.

powerslave_85
06-11-2009, 06:24 PM
"I don't want to censor anyone, but..." is kind of like saying "I'm not racist, but..." IMO. Dude needs to lighten the fuck up. I'll be honest: It didn't make me laugh that much, but it was still a lot better than some of the "comedians" I've seen in local comedy clubs and even on Comedy Central. I mean, it wasn't that much more shocking than most of Lisa Lampenelli's material.

JRA
06-11-2009, 07:12 PM
I'll be honest: It didn't make me laugh that much, but it was still a lot better than some of the "comedians" I've seen in local comedy clubs and even on Comedy Central.

Why thank you! That just makes me feel so squishy!:D

ChildrenofSodom
06-11-2009, 07:28 PM
Better than Carlos Mencia

b_halperin
06-11-2009, 07:38 PM
Better than Carlos Mencia

thats not a hard thing to accomplish

SomewhereInTime72
06-11-2009, 08:07 PM
LMAO at people expecting standup to be not vulgar... wtf?

powerslave_85
06-11-2009, 08:14 PM
LMAO at people expecting standup to be not vulgar... wtf?
Seriously. It's a comedy club, not an elementary school talent show. I'm not saying comedy HAS to be vulgar (Brian Reagan is hilarious, and his act is 100% clean), but c'mon.

SomewhereInTime72
06-11-2009, 08:19 PM
You should tell him you've cleaned up your act and go again, and then proceed to read his pompous letter out loud on stage.

Maiden33
06-11-2009, 08:22 PM
There are a lot of comics out there who are not the least bit vulgar but are still very funny. That being, said I don't expect anyone to be completely clean. Some foul language is just a way of life. The average person curses a fair amount in normal speech anyway, so even some added bad language for laughs is expected. My favorite comedian is George Carlin, so obviously I have no problem with foul language.
However, I still think Ravenheart hit the nail perfectly on the head. The actual word choice could have been done better to direct the attention toward the joke instead of the vulgarity of the words. In the audience, I would've been far more shocked out of the fact that someone would actually say that than actually being amused about the joke, even though the concept of the joke is inherently funny.

ChildrenofSodom
06-11-2009, 08:28 PM
Seriously. It's a comedy club, not an elementary school talent show. I'm not saying comedy HAS to be vulgar (Brian Reagan is hilarious, and his act is 100% clean), but c'mon.

I love Brian Regan.

JRA
06-11-2009, 08:51 PM
You should tell him you've cleaned up your act and go again, and then proceed to read his pompous letter out loud on stage.

SOMEBODY GIVE THIS MAN A BEER!!!

:realchug: :realchug: :realchug: :realchug:

Actually...better idea Imagine me reading his letter, then reading my response.

zgodt
06-11-2009, 09:47 PM
SOMEBODY GIVE THIS MAN A BEER!!!

:realchug: :realchug: :realchug: :realchug:

Actually...better idea Imagine me reading his letter, then reading my response.
Your response is not better than his letter, so this would not be a recipe for success.

b_halperin
06-12-2009, 07:55 PM
I love Brian Regan.

:party:

ravenheart
06-13-2009, 07:13 AM
LMAO at people expecting standup to be not vulgar... wtf?

No one is. The point is there's a difference between vulgar for the sake of funny, and vulgar for the sake of vulgar.

SomewhereInTime72
06-13-2009, 07:38 AM
No one is. The point is there's a difference between vulgar for the sake of funny, and vulgar for the sake of vulgar.

Not necessarily, and in the letter the guy made it pretty clear that he wished it hadn't been so vulgar, regardless of how funny it was :eyes:

ravenheart
06-13-2009, 08:20 AM
Not necessarily, and in the letter the guy made it pretty clear that he wished it hadn't been so vulgar, regardless of how funny it was :eyes:

Precisely. It is regardless of how funny the actual jokes were. Which was my point a couple of pages ago. It actually doesn't matter how funny any of it was because the focus isn't on being funny, it's on offending/shocking. That bit would have been just as funny with fewer strong words, and more people would have found it so.

Vulgar for funny is fine. Vulgar purely for the purpose of being vulgar detracts from the funny.

SomewhereInTime72
06-13-2009, 08:47 AM
Yeah I get that that's what you think about it, but I'm just saying that the guy in the letter makes it sound like it could've been the funniest thing in the world, but it still had too much cursing and that feels bad to his sensitive lil' ears! :boohoo:

JRA
06-13-2009, 09:19 AM
You know, looking back, I can understand how he could think my material was vulgar and offensive...except for the Jewish bit. All I was doing was questioning a negative stereotype and proving how ludicrous it was. Maybe...maybe I could have left out the part of Hitler's personal hell being a clerk in a 7-11.

ChildrenofSodom
06-13-2009, 11:33 AM
What if the only thing about your bit that he found offensive WAS the Hitler part...haha. He didnt think the language or the sex was bad, but the Hitler/Jew bit was 'too' soon.

JRA
06-13-2009, 12:21 PM
What if the only thing about your bit that he found offensive WAS the Hitler part...haha. He didnt think the language or the sex was bad, but the Hitler/Jew bit was 'too' soon.

I have a feeling he would have said somethin like that, rather than just call my entire performance comedic blasphemy.

ChildrenofSodom
06-13-2009, 12:39 PM
This whole experience could go into your new comedy routine.

zgodt
06-15-2009, 07:32 PM
So did you actually send your response letter? I just re-read his note to you... and it doesn't sound at all like he's "giving you shit." He's trying to level with you about what happened, why it didn't go over well, AND leaving you a door to come back in the future. It's not like he wrote "Fuck you, I never want to see you in my club again." Which he could easily have done.

So I hope you didn't send your letter, because over-reacting to criticism is really unprofessional and immature. It won't do anything but confirm his worst impressions of you. Instead, take it with grace, thank him for the opportunity and for his thoughts. And then move on with your life. And if you feel like trying out a less "blue" set at an open mic later, then do so. And if you're too upset with him to want that, then just put it in the past. But don't make it worse by sending him some rant.

JRA
06-16-2009, 07:41 AM
So did you actually send your response letter? I just re-read his note to you... and it doesn't sound at all like he's "giving you shit." He's trying to level with you about what happened, why it didn't go over well, AND leaving you a door to come back in the future. It's not like he wrote "Fuck you, I never want to see you in my club again." Which he could easily have done.

So I hope you didn't send your letter, because over-reacting to criticism is really unprofessional and immature. It won't do anything but confirm his worst impressions of you. Instead, take it with grace, thank him for the opportunity and for his thoughts. And then move on with your life. And if you feel like trying out a less "blue" set at an open mic later, then do so. And if you're too upset with him to want that, then just put it in the past. But don't make it worse by sending him some rant.


I never sent it and probably won't.

JRA
06-17-2009, 06:14 PM
I revised my letter to be a little less aggressive but just as much fuck you. I am so infuriated by basically going to the club tonight and seeing comedians doing the same shit I did but getting more laughs.

Dear Jared,

Sorry it took me so long to respond. I was originally gonna send you something vicious and hateful but a friend of the family warned me against that. I'm still feeling very bitter about this.

First of all I should thank you for your response. I actually was confused over whether or not I was disqualified about time. For starters It was my first time performing not my second. I'm also very offended that you gave an elderly woman who did have her first time a couple of weeks ago, even though she didn't tell a single joke, yet I didn't recieve anything, even though I don't see how my material is any more vulgar from most of the comics I've seen at you're club. Sure I've streamlined the extreme approach but hey. Speaking of vulgar, saying "I'm not in the business of censoring anybody" is like saying "I'm not racist but." Don't try and act like you're better than you really are. You said during a normal show 90% of the people would have walked out. I am well aware of the potential consequences of a normal show, which is why I chose the open mic night; as practice.

You invite me back for another shot as long as I do a "180." Personally, I don't see a reason to do a 180 when you have people talking about old women inviting young boys to take off their diapers (Jay Douglas), jokes about FDR, polio, and genocide (Ian Mccabe), Sperm bank cash grabs (Chris...? forgot his name) and material that was basically in the exact same realm of what I did. I really don't want to come back to your club, if this is the way you are going to treat me. I have Aspergers Syndrome, and I am entitled to better.

I don't care if I've burned a bridge right now. I want to fucking choke that asshole so bad. I'm just disgusted and probably won't go back again. Even if he does invite me.

SomewhereInTime72
06-17-2009, 06:18 PM
Yeah, if you don't wanna be nice about it (understandable) that's a pretty good response.

Natrlhi
06-18-2009, 07:00 AM
Dude,

First and foremost, I really hope you don't send that letter. I know you are pissed, but I think it would be a bad move. As several others have said, it would be pretty unprofessional and immature - and no good can really come of it.

Having said this, I want to point something out. I noticed this thread a couple of days ago, but I clicked on some other stuff first and never got around to reading it until now. Coincidentally, just before reading this thread, I noticed the response you sent to me regarding Ravenheart's batshit crazy Slayer comments. :D Your response made me laugh - so I know you have potential for being very funny and / or witty, and I can see why your friends might have encouraged you to do stand-up.

I have some friends in that business, though, and I have to tell you - if you are going to have a blue act (which yours clearly is), then you have a challange in front of you that others do not. There is a fine line between "cringe" and "funny", and unfortunately for you it is very subjective. What I mean is, that the exact same material can either make an audience laugh (while perhaps blushing at the same time, but still smiling), or squirm in their seats, depending on the delivery. Unfortunately, your transcript does not convey the delivery part, so none of us can judge that. It really takes a lot of practice and skill to be blue as hell and still make people laugh. The difference between a Lisa Lampanelli (sp?) and you is actually quite substantial (besides the obvious physical differences) - and it has everything to do with her years of experience and her I'm-so-confident-that-what-I'm-saying-is-true-that-you'd-better-not-dare-give-me-any-shit attitude while on stage.

Ya know what I mean? You have to develop not only the stage cred but also the supreme confidence that the great comedians have before you can really pull off a really blue act and make it work. Until you have built your act up in this way, it has the potential to come across instead as vulgar or creepy, which I think is what the guy was trying to say (albeit not very well). Same material, different reaction. Does that make at least some kind of sense?

Maybe the solution is to tone the act down a bit, build your confidence a little by doing more gigs, and then progress back into the harsher stuff. Just a thought. :2cents:

Anyway, I'm just trying to be helpful. Hope something I said proves useful to you. I think you're a funny and witty guy, and I enjoy reading your comments on this board. Good luck with the stand-up if you decide to stay with it.

Nat :horns:

JRA
06-18-2009, 07:57 AM
I did send that message, and this is what I got in response.

"I'm only trying to do the best job I can, I'm sorry if you feel I didn't do that."

:(

ravenheart
06-18-2009, 11:25 AM
Gotta say, he played it well.

SomewhereInTime72
06-18-2009, 12:00 PM
It's almost as if he was baiting an angry response from you so that he could pull that one.

i would know because i do this to people i dont like all the time