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JRA
04-16-2009, 05:39 PM
With all the "top 40" faggotry around here, I thought I'd pinch my loaf into the ring. Now most bands have crappy songs, there's no denying it. And it's almost too easy to pick the bad ones from the mediocre albums. Instead I decided to weedle out the songs from the so called fans "precious classics" to prove that they are in fact fallible. So without further ado, let's begin, starting with the band that is this entire board's lovechild...



10. Iron Maiden: Piece Of Mind:Quest For Fire- Ah yes, the whipping post for all non-Maiden tards. You know it's not so much that's "about a time when Dinosaurs walked the earth," hell take a look at the lyrics to "To Tame A Land...."

Without a stillsuit you would fry on the sands so hot and dry in a world called Arrakis
It is a land that's rich in spice, the sandriders and the "mice" that they call the "Muad'Dib"

That's pretty ridiculous if you ask me, but you know what, it doesn't matter because the music fucking kicks ass! Quest For Fire's music, however is kinda boring. And the intro/outro to this song just might be the biggest hiccup throughout the bands glorious 80's career!


9. Judas Priest: British Steel: United- From the so called "classic" British Steel, this song is fucking uninspired from the beginning. The riff is dull, the vocals are dull, and the drumming is dull. What really grinds my gears about it is that it's basically a re-write of "Take On The World" from the previous Priest album. Now, Take On The World wasn't particularly good, but at least it's a fun, gay (:eyes:) singalong, particularly if noones around. But this is just Halford crooning to a bunch of burned out druggies "United we stand, and we shall never fall." Damn Rob, to go from saying "together we will take on all the world" to "United we never shall fall?" Someone's losing fucking ground here!


8. Motley Crue: Too Fast For Love: Starry Eyes- Nothing really special about this one. It's just boring filler with a boring chorus. I suppose I could put some more effort into why it's boring, but Nikki Sixx's ego doesn't deserve it.


7. Manowar: Battle Hymns: Death Tone- You know, no matter how ridiculous the premise, when Manowar are on, you can't help but want to join them into battle! But when they are passive, in-experienced, and unsure of themselves...we get this. You know, now that I think about it, this would have made a kick-ass Rage Against The Machine song, with Zach's angry delivery! But with Eric's feeble, not-quite-defiant-yet vocal delivery, you just want this clunker to end so that kiss ass riff to Metal Daze will come on!


6. Van Halen: 1984: I'll Wait- Van Halen wanted to start stretching their boundaries here, as would any self-respecting band. In some instances it worked, like Jump, but here it's just...meh. But Jump was upbeat, fun, and it had a kickass solo! This is...the opposite of that.


5. Anthrax: Spreading The Disease: The Enemy- This is so supposed to be a song about the Holocaust, but it's too happy/bouncy. I mean, not every song about Aucshwitz has to be "Angel of Death" (see: Red Sector A), but this is just so fucking contrived. Joey's Whoa-oo-oaaa's during the chorus doesn't help either.


4. AC/DC: High Voltage: Little Lover- In AC/DC's long and illustrious career, your bound to have a few clunkers in your catalog. This was on their first "international" release, and it's just so long and boring; proof that not all the kinks had been worked out yet.


3. Pantera: Far Beyond Driven: Good Friends & Bottle Of Pills- "I fucked your girlfriend last night" ...um no you didn't asshole. This song has no triumpahnt riffs or solos from Dimebag and is just Phil being a diphsit.


2. Metallica: Metallica: Nothing Else Matters- The Black album will always be a controversial topic for metal fans, but there is one thing people can't deny, at least it still sounds like Metallica. And you know what, that's good enough for me to like this album...until we get to this. I think the reason this might have been the kiss of death for many fans is that Metallica always lauded themselves as "faster, meaner, heavier than all those bands that sing ooh baby and wear lipstick." But on this song, they sound like a band that sings ooh baby and wears lipstick. If you think I'm just being a dick, do me a favor next time you are with one of your non-metal loving friends, throw together a "rock ballads playlist" and sandwich this song in between "Every Rose has it's Thorn" and "Fly To The Angels" and see your friend notices a difference. Considering Metallica spent many years raging against that kind of music, there should be a MASSIVE difference


1. Black Sabbath: Heaven & Hell: Walk Away- Holy fucking AIDS, Batman! We all know the story with Black Sabbath in 1980; band fires singer, gets new singer, and puts out an album that is hailed as a masterpiece. You know, I'd like to believe these people who hail this album as legendary, but then I hear this song, and want to throw all these people in a concentration camp. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you retards? First of all, the riff sounds like it was recorded for a fucking Sammy Hagar solo album (more on him later), hardly the stuff Tony Iommi is worshipped for. Then when I hear Dio sing "lord she's handsome" I want to fill up a trash compactor with babies and squash them all! Seriously, if there's one thing I hate its gender confusion. Women are "hot" "smokin" "damn fine" and "skeet skeet", but they are not "handsome!" Is this an ode to a transvestite? This song sounds like the kind of shit Sammy Hagar masturbates to while dreaming that he will one day take over Van Halen! It is an abomination, and I think we are owed an apology by Ronnie, Tony, Geezer and Bill (even if it's one of the tracks he doesn't remember recording.)


Fuck you, and good night. :money:

DethMaiden
04-16-2009, 05:44 PM
This list lost any credibility when you bashed Nothing Else Matters. :hmm:

But seriously, I might have to do this when I have more time/effort to spend.

powerslave_85
04-16-2009, 06:04 PM
I'll think of some more later, but the first one that comes to mind is "Can I Play With Madness."

rjturtle9
04-16-2009, 06:15 PM
leave nothing else matters and united alone :mad:

SomewhereInTime72
04-16-2009, 06:31 PM
hahah i liked reading this

JRA
04-16-2009, 06:34 PM
I'll think of some more later, but the first one that comes to mind is "Can I Play With Madness."

am I too interpret this as "I'd rather listen to QFF then CIPWM?"

mankvill
04-16-2009, 06:42 PM
am I too interpret this as "I'd rather listen to QFF then CIPWM?"

CORRECT

GTFO

powerslave_85
04-16-2009, 06:52 PM
am I too interpret this as "I'd rather listen to QFF then CIPWM?"
Not really. I think SSOASS is a better album than POM, and therefore is dragged down further by the bad song.

Derelict
04-16-2009, 06:52 PM
Always hated TV2 off of Psalm 69, sure I could think of a few others

SirLardsAlot
04-16-2009, 08:38 PM
holy smoke. i think from no prayer for the dying sux:tp:

overkiller
04-16-2009, 09:27 PM
Death Tone is awesome.

TonyD
04-16-2009, 09:29 PM
4. AC/DC: High Voltage: Little Lover- In AC/DC's long and illustrious career, your bound to have a few clunkers in your catalog. This was on their first "international" release, and it's just so long and boring; proof that not all the kinks had been worked out yet.


Was it Coca-Cola?

I like the idea, good list. I might have to get around to making one myself.
Edit: maybe not, I just realized that I get rid of these and anything else not worth space on my hard drive.

bunghole
04-16-2009, 09:43 PM
Metallica - Sanitarium: shitty song on otherwise awesome album. Fade to Black is also guilty of this - though not as much as Sanitarium.

and to do an inverse of that - Pantera - Cowboys From Hell: really good song on otherwise shitty album (if by album you mean career - which I do) :badidea:

ravenheart
04-17-2009, 01:03 AM
Metallica - Sanitarium: shitty song on otherwise awesome album. Fade to Black is also guilty of this - though not as much as Sanitarium.

and to do an inverse of that - Pantera - Cowboys From Hell: really good song on otherwise shitty album (if by album you mean career - which I do) :badidea:

Hmmm... I don't think there's a word of sense in what you just said...

TonyD
04-17-2009, 01:35 AM
Hmmm... I don't think there's a word of sense in what you just said...

Second.

ravenheart
04-17-2009, 01:40 AM
Right shit songs on good albums...


Overkill - Old School (ReliXIV)
Ozzy Osbourne - Goodbye To Romance (Blizzard of Ozz)
Black Sabbath - Who Are You (Sabbath Blood Sabbath)
Aerosmith - Big Ten Inch Record (Toys In The Attic)
Stuck Mojo - Yoko (Southern Born Killers)
Bruce Dickinson - Change of Heart (Balls To Picasso)
Cathedral - Proga Europa (The Garden of Unearthly Delights)
Down - Lysergik Funeral Procession (II: A Bustle In Your Hedgerow)
Dream Theater - Space Dye Vest (Awake)

DethMaiden
04-17-2009, 03:23 AM
Dream Theater - Space Dye Vest (Awake)

Wrong. :(

JRA
04-17-2009, 05:43 AM
whats wrong with a quest for fire.

holy smoke. i think from no prayer for the dying sux

most of load

Those are bad albums though, therefore they don't count.

Maiden33
04-17-2009, 06:07 AM
Bruce Dickinson - Change of Heart (Balls To Picasso)
Dream Theater - Space Dye Vest (Awake)

Well, I like both of these songs, but I have to admit that Space Dye Vest was basically the beginning of OSI, so I kind of want to hate it on principle.

Indestructible
04-17-2009, 09:24 AM
Metallica - Sanitarium: shitty song on otherwise awesome album. Fade to Black is also guilty of this - though not as much as Sanitarium.



Wrong

very wrong

overkiller
04-17-2009, 09:31 AM
Right shit songs on good albums...


Overkill - Old School (ReliXIV)

Good song, bad album.

Div
04-17-2009, 01:05 PM
good song on bad album

megadeth - back in the day

TonyD
04-17-2009, 01:46 PM
good song on bad album

megadeth - back in the day

The second half, which has nothing to do with the first half, is one of the highlights of the album.

SirLardsAlot
04-17-2009, 02:55 PM
I love The System Has Failed all the way through, except for Shadow of Deth, which is a stupid interlude thing. So yeah, that's my pick for the thread. Thanks for the idea Mike :-P

JRA
04-17-2009, 03:25 PM
Good song, bad album.

Motorhead- Thousand Names Of God
Overkill- Bleed Me
Slayer- Seasons In The Abyss :fingers:

Spiral_Slave
04-17-2009, 03:27 PM
Good song, bad album.

Glad to see I'm not the only one who likes Old School. :fist:

ADD
04-17-2009, 03:29 PM
Glad to see I'm not the only one who likes Old School. :fist:
Who couldn't love that song? :party:

bunghole
04-17-2009, 03:52 PM
I love Old School.

and Bleed Me is far from the only good song on that album.

mankvill
04-17-2009, 04:16 PM
Slayer- Seasons In The Abyss :fingers:

D:

Wizzbang11
04-17-2009, 08:16 PM
Tank-Crazy Horses
I find it fucking obnoxious.

Ghoul- Merde
I don't know if its "terrible" but I always have to skip it. The rest of Splatterthrash is gold.

GWAR- Pocket Pool
It's the worst GWAR song ever made (excluding some of We Kill Everything) and yet it's on one of the best GWAR albums.

Maiden33
04-17-2009, 08:20 PM
Tank-Crazy Horses
I find it fucking obnoxious.

Most covers of songs by The Osmonds are. :D

Natrlhi
05-01-2009, 06:14 AM
"Sutterville" and "Mormon Island" from Giant Squid's latest album "The Ichthyologist". The rest of the album is pure gold. These two tracks are the only thing that might keep this album out of the top five of 2009 for me.

I know there are a ton more, but this one came to mind right away. I will post more as I think of them.

Nat :horns:

ravenheart
05-01-2009, 06:16 AM
I'm loving the new album by Vengeance, Soul Collector, but the song MySpace Freak is awful.

Maiden33
05-01-2009, 06:20 AM
I'm loving the new album by Vengeance, Soul Collector, but the song MySpace Freak is awful.

Whats is that album like?

Natrlhi
05-01-2009, 06:25 AM
One clarification I think we should make here is that filler songs don't count. Otherwise, a great many excellent albums could get drawn into this discussion unnecessarily (for example, almost every album by Tool has one or two completely oddball filler tracks on it...just for the sake of weirdness / ambiance).

I think we should stick to making fun of songs that are actually meant to be legitimately good songs, but which you just have to skip every time you play the album, because they just piss you off that much. Who's with me?

Maiden33
05-01-2009, 06:36 AM
Ah yes, how could I forget an obvious choice for myself...

Queensryche - Gonna Get Close to You.

Natrlhi
05-01-2009, 06:44 AM
The song "Camelback Cinema" on Primus's Brown Album always kind of pissed me off - very repetitive and boring :zzz: - I always skip it.

Otherwise, that's my favorite album by this phenomenal band.

Nat :horns:

ravenheart
05-01-2009, 07:19 AM
Ah yes, how could I forget an obvious choice for myself...

Queensryche - Gonna Get Close to You.

Amen.

SomewhereInTime72
05-01-2009, 07:45 AM
Ah yes, how could I forget an obvious choice for myself...

Queensryche - Gonna Get Close to You.

I never skip this song. :bouville:

es156
05-01-2009, 09:34 AM
I never skip this song. :bouville:

Neither do I.

ravenheart
05-01-2009, 09:58 AM
Whats is that album like?

Excellent. Great riffs all over the place.

HandOfDoom
05-01-2009, 01:24 PM
Ive always really disliked Wishing Well from Sabbaths Heaven and Hell album.

JRA
05-01-2009, 09:13 PM
Ive always really disliked Wishing Well from Sabbaths Heaven and Hell album.

That one's always been a clunker to me as well. It sounds like a leftover from Never Say Die.

Maiden33
05-01-2009, 09:30 PM
I quite like Wishing Well, and will take it over lady Evil 10x over any day.

Indestructible
03-02-2011, 08:35 PM
With all the "top 40" faggotry around here, I thought I'd pinch my loaf into the ring. Now most bands have crappy songs, there's no denying it. And it's almost too easy to pick the bad ones from the mediocre albums. Instead I decided to weedle out the songs from the so called fans "precious classics" to prove that they are in fact fallible. So without further ado, let's begin, starting with the band that is this entire board's lovechild...



10. Iron Maiden: Piece Of Mind:Quest For Fire- Ah yes, the whipping post for all non-Maiden tards. You know it's not so much that's "about a time when Dinosaurs walked the earth," hell take a look at the lyrics to "To Tame A Land...."

Without a stillsuit you would fry on the sands so hot and dry in a world called Arrakis
It is a land that's rich in spice, the sandriders and the "mice" that they call the "Muad'Dib"

That's pretty ridiculous if you ask me, but you know what, it doesn't matter because the music fucking kicks ass! Quest For Fire's music, however is kinda boring. And the intro/outro to this song just might be the biggest hiccup throughout the bands glorious 80's career!


9. Judas Priest: British Steel: United- From the so called "classic" British Steel, this song is fucking uninspired from the beginning. The riff is dull, the vocals are dull, and the drumming is dull. What really grinds my gears about it is that it's basically a re-write of "Take On The World" from the previous Priest album. Now, Take On The World wasn't particularly good, but at least it's a fun, gay (:eyes:) singalong, particularly if noones around. But this is just Halford crooning to a bunch of burned out druggies "United we stand, and we shall never fall." Damn Rob, to go from saying "together we will take on all the world" to "United we never shall fall?" Someone's losing fucking ground here!


8. Motley Crue: Too Fast For Love: Starry Eyes- Nothing really special about this one. It's just boring filler with a boring chorus. I suppose I could put some more effort into why it's boring, but Nikki Sixx's ego doesn't deserve it.


7. Manowar: Battle Hymns: Death Tone- You know, no matter how ridiculous the premise, when Manowar are on, you can't help but want to join them into battle! But when they are passive, in-experienced, and unsure of themselves...we get this. You know, now that I think about it, this would have made a kick-ass Rage Against The Machine song, with Zach's angry delivery! But with Eric's feeble, not-quite-defiant-yet vocal delivery, you just want this clunker to end so that kiss ass riff to Metal Daze will come on!


6. Van Halen: 1984: I'll Wait- Van Halen wanted to start stretching their boundaries here, as would any self-respecting band. In some instances it worked, like Jump, but here it's just...meh. But Jump was upbeat, fun, and it had a kickass solo! This is...the opposite of that.


5. Anthrax: Spreading The Disease: The Enemy- This is so supposed to be a song about the Holocaust, but it's too happy/bouncy. I mean, not every song about Aucshwitz has to be "Angel of Death" (see: Red Sector A), but this is just so fucking contrived. Joey's Whoa-oo-oaaa's during the chorus doesn't help either.


4. AC/DC: High Voltage: Little Lover- In AC/DC's long and illustrious career, your bound to have a few clunkers in your catalog. This was on their first "international" release, and it's just so long and boring; proof that not all the kinks had been worked out yet.


3. Pantera: Far Beyond Driven: Good Friends & Bottle Of Pills- "I fucked your girlfriend last night" ...um no you didn't asshole. This song has no triumpahnt riffs or solos from Dimebag and is just Phil being a diphsit.


2. Metallica: Metallica: Nothing Else Matters- The Black album will always be a controversial topic for metal fans, but there is one thing people can't deny, at least it still sounds like Metallica. And you know what, that's good enough for me to like this album...until we get to this. I think the reason this might have been the kiss of death for many fans is that Metallica always lauded themselves as "faster, meaner, heavier than all those bands that sing ooh baby and wear lipstick." But on this song, they sound like a band that sings ooh baby and wears lipstick. If you think I'm just being a dick, do me a favor next time you are with one of your non-metal loving friends, throw together a "rock ballads playlist" and sandwich this song in between "Every Rose has it's Thorn" and "Fly To The Angels" and see your friend notices a difference. Considering Metallica spent many years raging against that kind of music, there should be a MASSIVE difference


1. Black Sabbath: Heaven & Hell: Walk Away- Holy fucking AIDS, Batman! We all know the story with Black Sabbath in 1980; band fires singer, gets new singer, and puts out an album that is hailed as a masterpiece. You know, I'd like to believe these people who hail this album as legendary, but then I hear this song, and want to throw all these people in a concentration camp. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you retards? First of all, the riff sounds like it was recorded for a fucking Sammy Hagar solo album (more on him later), hardly the stuff Tony Iommi is worshipped for. Then when I hear Dio sing "lord she's handsome" I want to fill up a trash compactor with babies and squash them all! Seriously, if there's one thing I hate its gender confusion. Women are "hot" "smokin" "damn fine" and "skeet skeet", but they are not "handsome!" Is this an ode to a transvestite? This song sounds like the kind of shit Sammy Hagar masturbates to while dreaming that he will one day take over Van Halen! It is an abomination, and I think we are owed an apology by Ronnie, Tony, Geezer and Bill (even if it's one of the tracks he doesn't remember recording.)



Fuck you, and good night. :money:

Your argument for Walk Away is invalid because you said this. " You know, I'd like to believe these people who hail this album as legendary, but then I hear this song, and want to throw all these people in a concentration camp. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you retards?"

The Enemy is one of my favorite Anthrax songs. Nothing else Matters and Good Friends and a Bottle of Pills sucks. I can understand not liking Quest For Fire, Ill wait and United. Starry Eyes and Death Tone I have never heard

mankvill
03-02-2011, 09:24 PM
Worst song on the Black Album is far and away Sad But True.

illuminatus917
03-02-2011, 09:45 PM
Worst song on the Black Album is far and away Sad But True.

It's so damn catchy though...

HandOfDoom
03-03-2011, 04:48 AM
Ive always thought Of Wolf and Man was the worst off the Black Album, speaking of BM, I read on wiki; " Rock's preeminent speed-metal cyclone...Metallica may have invented a new genre: progressive thrash", which I think is pretty funny because if any Metallica release should be labeled as progressive its AJFA... IMO.

Shadowswillfall414
03-03-2011, 01:53 PM
10.Metallica-Escape-Ride the lightning
9.Metallica-Dont tread on me-Black album
8.All that remains-Aggressive opposition-For we are many
7.Megadeth-Foreclosure of a dream-Countdown to extinction
6.Lamb of god-More time to kill-Sacrament
5.Parkway drive-Karma-Deep blue
4.Chimaira-Secrets of the dead-The infection
3.Megadeth-I aint superstitious-Peace sells...But whos buying
2.Judas priest-Private property-Turbo
1.Disturbed-Shout 2000-The sickness

There not terrible but there not good.

rjturtle9
03-03-2011, 03:41 PM
10.Metallica-Escape-Ride the lightning
9.Metallica-Dont tread on me-Black album
8.All that remains-Aggressive opposition-For we are many
7.Megadeth-Foreclosure of a dream-Countdown to extinction
6.Lamb of god-More time to kill-Sacrament
5.Parkway drive-Karma-Deep blue
4.Chimaira-Secrets of the dead-The infection
3.Megadeth-I aint superstitious-Peace sells...But whos buying
2.Judas priest-Private property-Turbo
1.Disturbed-Shout 2000-The sickness

There not terrible but there not good.

Your a funny guy you know that.

ravenheart
03-03-2011, 03:47 PM
What's with the thread resurrection?

JLRedWing13
03-03-2011, 04:47 PM
I don't agree with a lot of these. In fact, I think every Metallica song mentioned in this thread (besides Sad But True) is awesome. :hmm:

ravenheart
03-03-2011, 04:49 PM
I don't agree with a lot of these. In fact, I think every Metallica song mentioned in this thread (besides Sad But True) is awesome. :hmm:

Sad But True is also awesome.

JLRedWing13
03-03-2011, 04:54 PM
I like it but wouldn't mind if they never played it live again. :lol:

ravenheart
03-03-2011, 04:56 PM
I like it but wouldn't mind if they never played it live again. :lol:

Oh yeah, it's on a list with several others that I wouldn't cry over if they dropped it from the set. Nothing Else Matters is also on this list.

larvtard
03-03-2011, 05:22 PM
I still don't understand the hate for "Sad But True" on here. It's probably my favorite song from that album.
To be fair though, I'm not a fan of that album anyhow.

illuminatus917
03-03-2011, 08:05 PM
The best song on that album is Nothing Else Matters. That seems much more cliché than Sad But True though...

hellawaits77ny
03-09-2011, 01:30 AM
I like it but wouldn't mind if they never played it live again. :lol:

x2!! I get irriated when I see them play this song live. The crowd goes nuts, pits actually break out, place gets loud, etc. Then a song that's faster + thrashier is played, like Creeping Death, FFWF, Battery, Blackened, and he crows is like "Yah, lightly nod my head repeatedly."